Dashing through the notes. . . .
Verse from the Broncos’ 2009 theme song if they blow a playoff berth after a 6-0 start: “It’s lovely weather for a train wreck together with you.” . . .
Sure, I’m in the holiday spirit. Why, I’m so darn giddy I’m only going to mention this once: Is is too late to vote for Ryan Clady as a Pro Bowl tight end? . . .
There’s a reason they call them trick plays, sports fans. More often than not, you end up tricking yourself. . . .
Which brings us to Jim Zorn. Hey, Jimbo, next time you try that fake field-goal thing, make sure Garo Yepremian is on the roster. . . .
Coming soon to a collectibles store near you: autographed Eddie Royal milk cartons, complete with a picture of the man himself. . . .
Keeping things in the holiday spirit, teacher says every time a bell rings, a Raiders running back rips off another 20-yard run at Invesco Field. Not that you can’t win in the Sunday football league giving up 200-plus rushing yards. The Broncos are 9-56-1 in franchise history when an opponent goes for a deuce. . . .
Memo to J.R. Swish: Great job on those 3 balls the other night. And to think, I was thisclose to ordaining him J.R. Miss. . . .
But then, that’s what J.R. is, a Forrest Gump box of chocolates. A 26-for-80 stretch over six games, and 10 3’s from Laramie barely a week later. Give him this: Dude’s pure entertainment. . . .
Reading into it or not is your business, bubba. I’m just here to report the facts: The Nuggets going into their Christmas night roadie vs. Portland were 20-9 — 10-8 when Melo scores 30-plus, 10-1 when he goes for fewer than 30. . . .
Hate to break this to the Russian gajillionaire who bought the Nets, but if he moved the franchise to Moscow tomorrow, nobody would notice. . . .
Sorry, but my inner history major has to disagree with that point spread in the national championship game. Alabama, a five-point favorite, is 0-7-1 all-time against Texas. . . .
Jimmie Johnson, who can’t hit a jump shot or a curveball and runs a 6.4 40, was just named The Associated Press male athlete of the year, no doubt edging out the Japanese dude who stuffs 14 brats in his mouth at once. . . .
Browns running back Jerome Harrison has been drawing comparisons to Jim Brown since his 286 yards against the Chiefs. Uh-huh. And a female fan just e-mailed to tell me my column picture cries out Brad Pitt. . . .
Random thought on Jay Cutler, he of the 25 interceptions: He’s a franchise quarterback, all right. A Burger King franchise. . . .
Not that Jay-C has had much of a chance behind that stellar Bears offensive line. Think Custer with shoulder pads. . . .
What, you thought NFL coaches would be fired in alphabetical order this year? The Redskins are considering bringing in Donald Trump next week to gas Zorn at halftime. . . .
Then there’s Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro, whose team lost at home after leading the Kings by 35 points. Um, Vinny? Little birds tell me that, since Christmas has come and gone, you might want to call in sick today. . . .
OK, so I was off by five years. I figured Fenway Park would freeze over and they’d play a hockey game there before the Red Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino. . . .
By the way, did you hear? Truman rallied to defeat Dewey, and the Avs actually beat the Wild the other night. . . .
Major-league umpires have agreed in principle to a new five-year contract. All they have to do to make it official is find their reading glasses to sign on the bottom line. . . .
They say it’s your birthday: Our State’s Own Jeff King (45), the first pick in the 1986 baseball draft; ESPN talkmeister Tim Legler (43), one of the all-time long-distance bombers, and two Hall of Famers, Ozzie Smith (55) and Carlton Fisk (62).
Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com or catch him weekdays from 7-10 a.m. on The Score with Armstrong and Shapiro on Mile High Sports-1510 AM.
