Q: Hey Great Scott,
I recently found your column and (don’t tell my supervisor!) have significantly lengthened my lunch hour(s) by reading past columns. I had no idea I was such an advice nut!! At any rate,
here is my quandary:
I moved to Colorado this past September for a
year-long internship after graduating from college in
Indiana last spring. Since I arrived here, I have been
keeping in touch with a guy whom I’ve been really good
friends with throughout college (phone calls about
every week and I’ve been able to visit him when I’ve
visited my home town for the holidays).
Recently, I’ve been thinking a great deal about my
future, specifically, a future with him. I am not
certain what I’ll be doing after my internship,
although when I am through here, he’ll be moving to
another state for grad school.
Scott, his friendship
means more to me than, say, an entire crate of those
Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies!
Seriously, though, we’ve certainly always had such a solid connection
(and still do!) but the timing for dating has just
always been a bit off.
So should I pursue a long-distance relationship with him, even though that may
not be the most ideal circumstances for beginning a
serious relationship? Or perhaps I should be happy
with our friendship as is?
What do you think?
Thanks so much!
Scott: You ve got a very special guy in your life.
How great,
but more important than Milano cookies? That s
serious!
The only problem here is distance and timing, and
that s huge when it comes to relationships.
When you
said your timing has always been off, you weren t
kidding.
Guess what? It still is!
You two are living
in different states, pursuing your education and
careers right now. At the same time, you re both in a
stage where life could lead you anywhere.
But you re
great friends, and there s no need to complicate your
lives by pursuing something that would have less than
a fair chance of succeeding. So don t.
What you should do is stay close friends for now and
keep your great connection going. Keep talking and
stay in touch.
When and if the timing is ever right to
take your relationship to the next level, you ll know
it and everything will fall into place like milk and
cookies.