Q: Hi Scott,
I love your column and I desperately need your advice.
There’s a guy I work with, let’s call him “Bill,” and I’d really like to have a relationship with him romantically. We’re great friends, we get along well and there’s a spark.
Here’s the problem: he has this weird sock puppet that he made out of office supplies (paper clip hair, a roll of tape for a mouth and post-it eyes) that he uses to come on to me.
Most of the time, he’s a completely normal guy. But after everyone’s gone home for the night and it’s just the two of us, out comes the puppet!
Last night he sang the Metallica song, “Master of Puppets are pulling your strings” and started attacking my bra straps. A week ago the puppet said he was hungry and started grabbing at my butt.
It makes me really uncomfortable, and I think this behavior is very strange. I don’t want to say anything to our boss because I do really like Bill, and don’t want to get him into any trouble.
Do you think there’s any hope for me to have a relationship with Bill, who only seems able to express himself through his sock puppet?
Or should I just give up? Thanks, Scott!
– Sock It to Me
Scott: First, I loved reading your e-mail, and this “Bill” sounds like an absolute hoot.
A sock puppet made out of office supplies? Everyone should have a Bill in their lives, they really should.
Well, all except for the inappropriate touching in the office part.
Tell Bill you really enjoy him and his sense of humor, but that you’d hate to see him wind up in any trouble for the physical contact in the office. After all, there is a grown man’s hand behind that cute little puppet’s face.
But you know the guy means well, and you say you want a relationship with him, so don’t shun him completely. A good part of your attraction to him can be attributed to his kooky antics, so I say go for it.
Outside of the office, that is.