Q: Scott,
I ran across your column the other day and read every one that was still posted on the DPO site.
You dish out good advice to your readers. However, your advice is not the reason I decided to write.
I noticed that the majority of your columns were questions asked by women (I assume late teens to early 30s) about their men problems, and I ask: are there any emotionally balanced women in Denver who know what a healthy relationship is?
If you’ll permit me to get on my soap box for a moment, I’d appreciate to opportunity to address these ladies about their relationships.
If you have to question yourself or anyone else about your relationship (ie, what is he/she trying to say, Should I stay/should I go, etc.) it’s time to get out. Stop wasting your time.
If you’re looking for the person of your dreams and you have any question or doubt in your mind THEY ARE NOT IT!
I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, who dropped out of college several times and never received her degree. She is down on herself because her boyfriend of 4+ years refuses to marry her, get a job, move out of his parents’ house, etc.
Her two major complaints are that she hates her job (and therefore quits and moves on to another job every couple of months) and she’s not married.
And yet, she refuses to finish school and find a better man!
Are any of you readers out there saying to yourself, “Well, duh!” Now ask yourself if you’re headed down the same path.
All I can say is, take control of your life!
You dictate where you end up; don’t give that power to someone else, you
will always be disappointed. If your goal is to be a wife and mother don’t settle for anything less than perfection.
If you want to be a career person, who better to find your perfect career than you! Take the steps to achieve that goal.
I wasted my time on Mr. Not-so-perfect and I was miserable.
When I finally decided to take my life back, I became happier, I found a better job and I’ll be getting married early next year to Mr. Perfect!
Faithful readers of Scott’s column, listen to your instincts. All of you with the complaints about your relationships know what you should do, you’re just afraid to do it.
I try to live my life with no regrets and that means not letting fear make my decisions for me. Now, go out and live!
Thank you, Scott for allowing me to vent.
Your Friend,
– Happy And Staying That Way
Scott: Hey Happy, thanks for reading my column. I’m glad you enjoy it.
It’s true, I get a lot of e-mail from women, but surprisingly, I also get them from guys. Straight men, gay men, but not many lesbians for some reason (huh, I guess they don’t have issues).
But please let me knock you off your soap box so I can have a turn.
There are plenty of emotionally balanced women out there, and to say there aren’t is about as wrong of a generalization as me saying lesbians don’t have issues. Oh wait, I did say that.
Well, you know what I mean.
Plus, if you read the column regularly, you know I don’t just get relationship-oriented questions. My loyal creative readers have a way of sneaking through non-romance related questions as well and for that, I couldn’t be more proud, (thanks readers!).
Now, on to the rest of your e-mail.
I agree with what you wrote about not wasting your time with the wrong person and waiting around in a relationship that is not good for you. Just think how much better this world would be if everything were so cut and dry.
But that’s not reality. Sometimes you need to hear an opinion from someone not related to the situation, and who better than an unbiased gay guy you’ve never even met? I should be rich and famous doing this!
I also agree with listening to your instincts, and sometimes it’s that other voice (in this case, mine) that tells you what you’ve known all along but you still needed to hear it anyway.
For instance, I am absolutely certain your friend is well aware of your opinion about how she’s wasting her time with the loser, and when she finally does dump him, a part of that can be attributed to your input.
See? Your friend has you and my beautiful readers have me. In the end, all we all have is each other, and that’s what makes the world go round.