Q: Dear Scott,
I am in search of much-needed advice.
I was dating a great guy for about a month and a half. It seemed like an almost perfect relationship in many ways, and we had an amazing connection on MANY levels.
I felt like I was falling in love and expressed this to him a couple of times. Although he did not always reply, his feelings were mutually confirmed for me by verbal expressions as well as actions.
But it abruptly ended while out one night with another couple, who are friends of his.
They were playing pool while I watched contentedly, because I’m no good at pool and it’s not really my thing. It turned into them asking me to play couples and then became uncomfortable because I really didn’t want to, and they wouldn’t let it go.
As a result, he became upset, said some harsh things to me in front of them, and ultimately the evening was a bust and we left.
It escalated from there at his place, where he told me he didn’t need this drama in his life and it was over.
We had another conversation the following day which didn’t go any better, and I haven’t heard from him since. I have reached out to him but he is shut down completely.
I’m sincerely trying to make sense out of how something genuinely wonderful could end over something so trivial?
He had been married for 10 years and only divorced for one year, so I’m wondering if the situation triggered something and maybe he has some unresolved issues?
Please don’t tell me that he’s not calling or reaching out because “he’s just not that into me.” I experienced the connection and fire between us and know in my heart that can’t be in this case.
– Truly Needing Advice
Scott: You poor thing. I can’t imagine how the perfect relationship could turn sour over a bad night of pool and the love of your life walks out the door.
Wait just a second.
Maybe it’s because YOU BARELY KNEW HIM!
I’m not going to say he’s just not that into you, but I will say that you can’t possibly think you can know a person in a month and a half’s time. I’m sorry dear, but it’s just not possible.
I’m happy that at least you now know how this guy can be and you also need to know you’re better off without him.
Really, would you want to be with someone who would so quickly throw in the towel over your hesitance to play a dumb frickin’ game? Please say “NO!”
Yes, he might have some unresolved issues, but you’ll probably never know what they are.
So work on yours instead, and try to spend more than a month getting to know a guy before you decide he’s the love of your life.