“Is the pork popular?” I asked a server. “Oh, yes, it’s one of my best sellers!” he replied, clearly not catching the amusement value of this fact.
I was grabbing a late lunch at the Longworth Office Building. Adjacent to the U.S. Capitol, this massive block of stone houses a multitude of congressional offices, where dishing out pork is a time-honored activity. Its cafeteria reputedly is a prime hangout for staffers and representatives – in addition to lobbyists and other assorted riffraff like me.
Let’s face it, not everyone can dance the night away at an exclusive inaugural ball, but there still are plenty of places where a visitor can mingle with Washington’s top players and politicians.
For a real taste of Washington power, seek the unofficial seats of power: eating places and bars, where secrets, favors and phone numbers are traded across the table.
Thankfully, my rapier wit had not been considered hazardous as I passed through the airport-style security checkpoint just inside the Longworth Building’s Independence Avenue door. I wandered the halls a bit. There were the committee rooms where much of Congress’ heavy lifting is done. Then I encountered individual offices, adorned with state seals, slogans, mascots, messages, flags – rather like the hallway of a classy university dorm.
Spying a couple of staffers carrying salads, I asked where the cafeteria was. “In the basement; you can’t miss it,” they said. As I turned left out of the elevator, the vast food court beckoned. A signpost near the entrance touted the “Value Breakfast” ($2.25) – for champions of a balanced budget, I assumed.
Dining options included Austin Blues BBQ, home of the popular pulled pork; pizza by the slice; Mexican; deli sandwiches; wraps; Chinese; a salad bar with more than 40 toppings; and a soup station. I decided on a small House Bean Soup ($1.50), the famous recipe that has been served up for years in the more formal Members’ Dining Room of the Capitol. The white bean soup was bland and watery but had plenty of chunks of lean ham (more pork, I noted).
The post-lunch-hour crowd was thinning out, so I settled in at a table next to a slickly dressed trio, hoping to overhear a little power gossip. The alpha male revealed he recently had managed to “spend a half-hour with the president.” Pondering this feat, he asked his audience, “What if every American got to spend five minutes with the president; how long would it take?” They tossed this one around for a few moments, but no one seemed eager to do the math.
As I emerged from the Longworth Building, and headed toward the Capitol, I met with a stream of congresspeople heading back from the afternoon’s session. Some scurried, while others paused to slap backs and palaver. Busy aides, cellphones glued to their heads, fluttered alongside.
Visit presidents’ hangout
Moving up several notches in ambience, I met a local pal, David, in the lobby of the Willard Hotel. “This hotel,” Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote while covering the Civil War, “may be much more justly called the center of Washington and the Union than either the Capitol, The White House, or the State Department. … You exchange nods with governors of sovereign states; you elbow illustrious men, and tread on the toes of generals. …”
Calling itself “The Residence of the Presidents,” the Willard brags that every president since Franklin Pierce has paid a visit here. Because of assassination threats, Abraham Lincoln spent more than a week in residence before his 1861 inauguration, holding staff meetings in front of the lobby fireplace.
The Willard also was the favorite hangout for President Ulysses S. Grant. Almost every day, he would escape the Oval Office to relax in the lobby with brandy and a cigar, entertaining the supplications of those who came to be known as – you guessed it – lobbyists.
Other guests have included more than 70 heads of state and celebrities such as Mark Twain, Walt Whitman, P.T. Barnum, Mae West and Harry Houdini.
Today the Willard is a sparkling luxury hotel, without the least remnant of cigar haze in its elegant, bustling lobby. We had a drink in the small bar, but conversations among the tourist and business crowd were as dull as the peanuts in the nut bowl. Alas, there were no illustrious men to elbow or generals’ toes to tread on.
The famous and obscure
Onward to the Occidental Restaurant, just down the block. A flock of shiny, black, VIP cars hugged the curb outside, but these guests must have been secreted away in one of the private rooms. The long downstairs bar was empty – we were a bit early for the hardworking crowd – so we pulled up our stools and eyeballed the 2,000 or so portraits plastering the walls. The Occidental opened 96 years ago, building up its slogan, “Where Statesmen Dine,” while the owner collected autographed photos from his customers.
Although the original restaurant was demolished in 1979 and rebuilt in 1986, the photo collection lives on. These portraits represent the famous (Buffalo Bill Cody, Winston Churchill, Amelia Earhart, Thomas Edison, a slew of presidents) and the formerly famous (two old-time aviators in jodhpurs peered out at us, perhaps thirsting for a martini).
Colin, the amiable bartender, wandered over to join in our guessing game. “I can name about 300 of them,” he said, “But there are a lot of obscure politicians from the ’20s and ’30s.”
We duly noted the transient nature of power as we exited past the large oil paintings of Bush I, Bush II and Ronald Regan dominating the foyer. Portraits of the most recent Democratic presidents, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter, looked uncomfortable sharing the wall these days.
In fact, the Occidental follows official protocol. They arrange their presidential portraits just as their subjects are seated on a dais: the current president in the middle, with the past two Republican presidents to his right and the past two Democratic presidents to his left.
Not far from the Occidental is another standby, the Old Ebbitt Grill. Like the Occidental, the Old Ebbitt has gone through renovations and reincarnations in its 149 years.
But while pictures of men dominate the former, women are the key focus of the Old Ebbitt’s art collection. Large, saloon-style paintings featuring naked ladies (no doubt of dubious reputation) grace the walls. They lounge languorously on bearskin rugs, gazing seductively over the rear bar, stairwell and other prime people-watching spots.
I reflected on how both watering holes cater to the male ego – one by honoring their faces, the other by honoring their libidos. Both also belong to the old school of polished wood and brass, though the Occidental is a bit more pricey.
The Ebbitt serves up a wicked hamburger, but we were there to sample the excellent selection of oysters from both coasts. We bellied up to the main bar, locating two carved wooden bears that supposedly belonged to Alexander Hamilton – one with a secret compartment in the back where Hamilton, according to legend, hid liquor bottles from his wife. Numerous hunting trophies bagged by Teddy Roosevelt stare down from above. Yes, at the Old Ebbitt the walls have both ears and eyes. In addition to “T.R.,” Presidents Grant, Cleveland and Harding were customers here.
Fueled by white wine and some plump Kumamoto oysters, we assessed the crowd. Politicos, women on the prowl and perhaps a few secret agents. Alas, the noise level was too high to catch any juicy political gossip. But a dedicated power groupie potentially could hit gold by hanging out until the tourists have gone home to soak their feet, leaving the hard-core district denizens to drink and network. One of the affable bartenders confided that early risers also are likely to spot politicians here partaking of a power breakfast.
Power needs not shout
On another day, I headed just south of Dupont Circle for a lunchtime visit to The Palm, named “Power Spot of the Year” in 2004 by the Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington. According to assistant general manager Jocelyn Rock, “tons of lobbyists, tons of lawyers” make up the regular clientele, along with a hefty dose of politicians and a dash of journalists – CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and Fox’s Greta Van Susteren, for example.
But if personages such as Bob Strauss – who has been Democratic party chairman and ambassador to Russia – aren’t present, you’ll spot plenty of politicos on the walls, pictured in The Palm’s trademark caricatures. According to Rock, there are about 700 of them, with room for a few more to squeeze in. Some people beg to be immortalized, gazing out over diners, but “the biggest movers and shakers don’t; they’ve got nothing to prove,” Rock confided.
I grabbed a seat at the small bar and cozied up with the regulars; many eat lunch here every day. Looking out over the bustling restaurant, it appeared that red wine has replaced martinis as the expense-account beverage of choice. A bottle was on almost every table, perfect for washing down The Palm’s massive steaks.
Eavesdropping on Rock as she greeted arriving and departing guests by name, while others paused to glad-hand and slap backs, I got the feeling that The Palm is like a chummy clubhouse for the powerful – though as a lone stranger I was watched after with care by the bartender. If you’re a regular, Rock knows who you are, what table you like, and who you want to avoid, particularly when you’re doing a deal. “That was D.C. Council member Harold Brazil,” Rock murmured, after bidding a diner farewell.
Swoop down on the Hawk
If you really want to wade deep into murky political watering holes, though, head for Pennsylvania Avenue, which takes a southeast diagonal from the Capitol. Here you’ll find a strip of mostly scruffy bars that cater to congressional staffers as well as their bosses. We bypassed Politiki, the Tune Inn and the Capitol Lounge, to settle in at the Hawk ‘n’ Dove.
The Hawk is such a part of D.C. lore that a scene for “The West Wing” TV series was shot here. Dcor tends toward the usual animal heads and political memorabilia, which probably starts to look less tattered after a few beers. You’ll find pub grub, the centerpiece of which is the half-pound Hawk Burger ($7.50) – as greasy-
good as the service was nasty-bad. I firmly believe we were seated next to Russian spies, but unfortunately I don’t know the language so it was nyet on eavesdropping. The crowd was young, the scene intense, the sports trophies dusty.
Amen to presidential pew
For those who feel the need to redeem themselves after all this drinking and eating, there’s another seat of power you can visit. That would be pew No. 54 at St. John’s Episcopal Church, just across Lafayette Square from the White House. This is the pew traditionally reserved for the president and first family.
Every U.S. president since James Madison has worshiped at this historic church; you’ll see kneeling cushions needlepointed with some of the more recent names. And, though teetotaler George W. Bush certainly won’t be seen tipping a glass around town, inside sources say he does regularly attend church here.
Gayle Keck is a freelance writer who lives in Arlington, Va.
The details
WHERE TO STAY
The Willard Inter-Continental Hotel, 1401 Pennsylvania Ave., NW; 202-628-9100; fax 202-637-7326; wash
ington.intercontinental.com; 41 suites and 341 rooms, starting at $309; the Presidential Suite is $3,800.
Hotel Washington, Pennsylvania Avenue and 15th Street, NW; 202-638-5900; fax 202-638-1594; 26 suites, 315 rooms; specials starting at $135. A temporary home for politicos, particularly during a change of administration; also houses the national turkey each year before it joins the president as he declares Thanksgiving Day weekend.
WHERE TO DINE
Longworth Office Building, bounded by Independence Avenue, New Jersey Avenue, South Capitol Street, and C Street, SE; food court is one floor below ground level; 202-225-2375. Monday-Friday, breakfast and lunch only; entrees $4-$6.
The Occidental Restaurant, 1475 Pennsylvania Ave., NW; 202-783-1475. Lunch and dinner daily; dinner entrees $20-$30.
Old Ebbitt Grill, 675 15th St., NW; 202-347-4800. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily; dinner entrees are $13-$25; a hefty cheeseburger is $7.50.
The Palm, 1225 19th St. NW; 202-293-
9091. Lunch and dinner Monday-Friday; dinner only on weekends; lunch entrees $13-$20. Boasts political-celeb clientele such as Tim Russert and Wolf Blitzer.
The Dirksen Senate Office Building South Buffet Room, First and C streets, NE, 202-224-4249, has a bounteous lunch buffet for $11.25, including drink and dessert. Other dining in congressional office buildings can be found at in the “visitors” section.
The House of Representatives Restaurant, 202-225-6300, and the Senate Dining Room, 202-224-2350, both in the Capitol building, are open only when Congress is in session and have very restricted access. If you are interested in dining there, call well in advance for information.
The Capital Grille, 601 Pennsylvania Ave., NW; 202-737-6200. Lunch Monday-Saturday; dinner daily; most dinner entrees $20-$35. A favored hangout for lobbyists and Republicans; featured in a notorious Vanity Fair article about D.C. interns.
The Monocle, 107 D St., NE; 202-546-
4488. Lunch and dinner Monday-Friday; entrees $15-$28. Closest restaurant to the Senate; stenciled words of wisdom include, “If you want a friend in Washington – get a dog.”
The Caucus Room, 401 Ninth St., NW, 202-393-1300, is another plush, paneled hideaway where the political elite meet. Owners are prominent Democrat Tom Boggs and well-known Republican Haley Barbour, among others. Along with your steak, you’ll be served up photos of D.C.’s famous – just in case you can’t spot the movers and shakers for yourself. Bring a lobbyist; dinner entrees are $26-$45.
The Oval Room at Lafayette Square is known to be a favorite of Condoleezza Rice, maybe because it’s so close to its namesake – the White House’s Oval Office. You’re likely to see other staffers, too, dining on a menu that offers a wide variety of fish dishes, plus some obligatory red meat. 800 Connecticut Ave., NW (near H Street); 202-463-8700. Lunch Monday-
Friday; dinner Monday-Saturday; closed Sunday. Dinner entrees $17-$32; a four-course tasting menu is $38.
The glamorous gather at Cafe Milano Restaurant, 3251 Prospect St., NW; 202-333-6183. If a Hollywood star is in town, chances are he or she will show up here – along with plenty of politicos who frequent trendy Georgetown. Open Monday, Tuesday and Sunday 4-11 p.m.; Wednesday-Saturday 4 p.m-12 a.m. Pizza and pasta $14-$24; upscale Italian entrees $28-$42.
Smith Point, 1338 Wisconsin Ave., NW (corner of Wisconsin and O streets),
Georgetown, 202-333-9003, has been a favorite hangout of the Bush twins. Fare ranges from seared tuna to chicken pot pie. Dinner 6:30 p.m.-11 p.m, Wednesday-Saturday. Entrees $19-$26.
WHERE TO DRINK
Round Robin Bar, Willard Inter-Continental Hotel; information above.
Hawk ‘n’ Dove, 329 Pennsylvania Ave., SE; 202-543-3300. Lunch, dinner and breakfast (starting at 10 a.m. weekdays and 9:30 a.m. Sundays) served daily; Hawk Burger, $7.50.
Tune Inn, 33 1/2 Pennsylvania Ave., SE; 202-543-2725. Sunday-Thursday until 2 a.m.; Friday and Saturday until 3 a.m.; cheap burgers. Look for the hunting trophies displayed near the restrooms.
Capitol Lounge, 231 Pennsylvania Ave., SE; 202-547-2098. Sunday-Thursday until 2 a.m.; Friday and Saturday until 3 a.m. Good selection of beers and interns.
FOR INFORMATION
Washington, D.C., Tourism; 800-422-8644;
Citizens Against Government Waste, , publishes the Congressional Pig Book, an annual compendium of pork-barrel projects.
– Gayle Keck
