Q: Hi Scott…
I live outside of Colorado in a small, fairly rural town that also happens to be a teeny version of Aspen (ski town for the rich ‘n’ beautiful). I have a great job, and I live on a beautiful estate at the foot of the mountains on a river. I’m decent looking, have a sense of humor, am intelligent, and have many hobbies and interests.
The little town I live in has lots of attractive women, though most are younger than I am (I’m a mature but youthful early 40s). Most people — including the ladies — in this town are very independent and like to do their own thing, and have their freedom.
Still, I think there’s a woman out there for me, even in this little town.
I do my best to be myself, be respectful of a woman’s space, be civil and interesting and friendly. Yet I seem to be getting absolutely no interest from any of the single women I meet.
I know, of course, that not everyone is interested in everyone — there has to be something to attract each other, and “types” and chemistry seem to have a lot to do with it. I don’t take rejection personally and realize that the only way is to shake off the ones that don’t respond, and keep trying until someone does.
But it’s pretty hard to keep my enthusiasm up, keep the faith, and hope for the best. I’m sure if I were an aggressive type I’d perhaps get dates, but most likely with women I don’t really want, or the kind of dates I don’t want (where she goes out with me only because I push her into it!).
Any ideas of what’ I’m doing that isn’t working? Or what WILL work??
– “Hoping for the best”
SCOTT: Hmmm, let’s see here.
You’re in your early 40s and that’s still young, so you’ve got that on your side. You’re also doing all the right things, being yourself and being respectful of women definitely don’t change that.
Oh, I know. How’s your sense of humor?
Do you laugh very much? Do you make women laugh? They like that too. I m not saying throw a standup act together, but you could come of as boring if you’re too dry or serious all the time.
Make sure you’re not cocky, overly sensitive or trying to impress women with intellect. And whatever you do, don’t try to attract a woman by putting your foot out when she walks by. See that was funny!
And also, realize that since you reside in such a small town, there are fewer mates to choose from and your chances of hooking up with one you have chemistry with are far lower, but certainly not impossible.
Try becoming friends with women first, because many times friendship turns into more, and when you least expect it.
Just be your funny confident self, don’t try to be something you’re not and I guarantee you’ll be a success with the ladies.