Four Rockies players step up to the plate. Big deal, it happens nearly every day at Coors Field, right?
But this is a dinner plate.
Rookies Clint Barmes, JD Closser, Brad Hawpe and Cory Sullivan traded uniforms for aprons Thursday at a cooking class at the ESPN Zone restaurant. Sure, it was a publicity stunt for the restaurant and the team, but it was also a chance to see the four players up close and out of their element.
The first to arrive, Closser, 25, seemed eager to get his hands on a sauté pan. “On the road you don’t cook, but I get tired of eating restaurant food, and I want a good, home-cooked meal,” said the cheerful catcher. “I made sure our new house had a big kitchen.”
Outfielder Hawpe, 25, said his wife, Kim, is the starting cook at their house – she made chicken-fried steak and gravy for dinner the night before.
Left-handed outfielder Sullivan, also 25, said the closest he comes to cooking is the toaster, and even then, he has trouble. “All I have at my house is plastic cups, plastic plates, plastic silverware. I don’t have anything to cook with,” said Sullivan, who “volunteered” shortstop Barmes for this appearance.
At 26, Barmes is the senior member of the group, but his cooking experience puts him at the bottom of the batting order.
“I have experimented with the grill, burnt a couple of hamburgers,” said Barmes.
A reporter asked why the hunky guys signed up for this class, and all four answered in unison: “Why are we doing this? We’re rookies.”
After playing together several years in the farm system, the four tease each other about everything, including their eating habits. During the season, none worries about their calorie count, they say. Sullivan, though, lives on food that comes in a paper bag. He said he eats “anything I can order at a drive-through. But I just learned how to make a grilled-cheese sandwich. My girlfriend, Bresee, taught me.”
“You can be the sous chef,” Closser tells Sullivan, who has no idea what a “sous chef” is. (It’s chef-talk for “reliever.”)
ESPN Zone chefs Will Holt and Thomas Keaveny divided the players into two teams: Barmes and Sullivan prepare pasta, and Closser and Hawpe sauté tuna.
Holt marched the cooks of summer over to the sink for a thorough hand-washing, gave them a quickie kitchen safety pep talk, and then it was, “Play ball!”
These major-leaguers handle a bat much more confidently than a pair of kitchen tongs, but with the help of bowls of prepped ingredients, they all managed to take a swing at the process.
“We don’t want them to cut or burn themselves, anything that might hurt their game,” said Holt of the neatly cubed tuna, shredded cheese and minced garlic.
As Holt instructed Barmes and Sullivan on the art of the TV chef pan-toss, Hawpe decorated his salad with an artistic drizzle of wasabi mayonnaise.
After the class, the four slid into a booth to taste their creations. Television and newspaper cameras flashed as the guys tasted their dishes and offered a postgame analysis.
Closser to Barmes: “You didn’t know you had it in you, did ya?”
Barmes: “I’m surprised I didn’t throw any food on the floor.”
Sullivan: “I have to say, I like mine the best.”
Closser: “At least I’m not gettin’ mine on my shirt. Want some of this, Barmy?”
A reporter asks Sullivan: “What would you have had for lunch if you weren’t here?”
Sullivan: “Wendy’s.
Closser: “I was gonna say Pizza Hut.”
Barmes, whose batting average is hovering just under .400, claimed that superstitions are for the minor leagues, but his teammates say otherwise.
“I am a little superstitious if I’ve got a streak going,” said Barmes. “I’ll go to the same place for a week. But not so much at this level.”
Sullivan: “You eat the same thing every day.”
Barmes: “OK, usually it’s just a cheeseburger.”
Closser: “Tell you what, if we win tonight, we’ll be back here tomorrow with the whole team.” (They lost 6-3 to the Arizona Diamondbacks.)
Now they’re prepared to follow former Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda’s example: “When we lose, I eat. When we win, I eat. I also eat when we’re rained out.”
Food editor Kristen Browning-Blas can be reached at 303-820-1440 or kbrowning@denverpost.com.
The stats
Clint Barmes, 26, shortstop, right-handed, from Vincennes, Ind. Single. Competitive in the kitchen and on the ball field.
Brad Hawpe, 25, outfield, bats and throws left, from Fort Worth, Texas. Married to Kim, one daughter. Likes Sushi Den and The Buckhorn Exchange.
Cory Sullivan, 25, outfield, bats and throws left, born in Tulsa, Okla., grew up in Pennsylvania. Single. Likes Sullivan’s Steakhouse. Can’t make toast.
JD Closser, 25, catcher, switch hitter, throws right, from Beech Grove, Ind. Entered major leagues straight out of high school. Married to Holley, two daughters. Closet gourmet.
Rookie do’s and don’ts
Organize and prepare
Sanitize cooking area
Wash hands
Sanitize utensils
Avoid cross contamination
Sauté with hot pan & hot oil
Use a dry towel when handling hot pots and pans
Pasta cooking tips
Don’t add food product to cold oil
One gallon water per 12-ounce package pasta
4 tablespoons salt per gallon of water
Water must be at a rolling boil
Stir water after adding pasta; bring back to boil
Don’t cook pasta in non-boiling water
Don’t pour liquor into a hot pan over a flame
Don’t pour water over grease fire
Turn water down to simmer until pasta is done
Test the doneness by biting a small piece
Drain into large colander
Pasta glossary
Bucatini: hollow long strands
Capellini: thin strands
Farfalle: bow ties
Gemelli: twins
Linguine: little tongues
Mostaccioli: little moustaches (tubes)
Orecchiette: little ears (disks)
Pappardelle: gulp down (flat, long and wide)
Radiatore: little radiators
Rotelle: little wheels
Tagliatelle: long, thin and flat egg noodle
