Dear Amy: I am a 12-year-old girl with a few problems. First of all, my mom won’t let me go tanning on a tanning bed.
I know all the dangers of a tanning bed, because I looked it up on the Internet. I do have a few freckles, and I don’t tan very well. I’m pretty pale.
I think the reason my mom won’t let me go tanning is because her close grandfather and my great-grandfather died 4 1/2 years ago of cancer. So, I think she is still grieving and concerned.
Now, spring is coming to an end and I want a summer glow.If you can help me out, I’d really appreciate it.
– Lost Girl
Dear Lost: Whether or not your mother is still grieving the loss of her grandfather, she is doing her job well in trying to protect you from the dangers of using tanning beds.
Tanning poses a significant cancer risk to kids – especially to kids who are pale and freckled. In fact, the World Health Organization and other public-health experts are urging governments around the globe to ban artificial tanning for anyone under 18. Long-term studies have shown a link between tanning and melanoma, which is a deadly form of cancer.
Melanoma is the most common cancer in young American women ages 25 to 29. Imagine having cancer right out of college! Fortunately for you, many states require that customers be at least 18 before tanning; perhaps this rule will save you from yourself.
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Dear Amy: At work our cubicles are close together. Whenever someone comes to my desk to ask a question, the guy across the aisle has to put in his two cents, even though he is not involved.
I make every attempt to make these conversations short and quiet, but I can’t stand him butting in anymore! What is proper office etiquette on this? I’ve already spoken to both of our managers about this and they have done nothing.
– Flustered
Dear Flustered: It’s not your manager’s job to ask your neighbor to stop butting in to your personal conversations – it’s your job. A frosty glare might do it. You might also simply say, “Phil, I’m sorry, but I’m trying to speak with Mandy right now,” followed by a frosty glare.
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Dear Amy: You were wrong to praise a recent letter from a reader who claimed he hasn’t noticed a difference between his biological offspring and adopted children. The fact that the reader has his own biological children disqualifies him from weighing in on folks who want to pass on their own genes by using “gestational carriers.” It would be like a rich man deriding and denouncing poor people as foolish for desiring more money.
The strong desire to pass on our own genes by creating our own biological offspring is genetically encoded in us.
Otherwise, most men would be indifferent toward their wives sexually. Instead, we husbands would call up Billy Bob (the biggest, strongest and smartest man in town) to come over and impregnate our wives. We’d be at bedside cheering on Billy Bob with the phrase, “Come on, Billy Bob! You make ’em – I’ll take ’em!” Folks who adopt children can be held in high esteem, but folks who have their own biological children have no standing to pass judgment on those who are unable to reproduce through normal means. By the way, I’m the biological father of 10 children.
– Prolific Iowan
Dear Iowan: Well, you’ve done your bit to populate Iowa, not to mention inspiring American women everywhere to say to their husbands, “Bring me Billy Bob at once!” I understand your point, but I do feel strongly that if prospective parents could move beyond their genetic imperative, they might realize parenting is parenting – no matter the gene source. It’s the greatest gig there is, as you no doubt know from your experience.
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