There is certainly no absence of malice in Fort Collins, what with “The Women” and “Ruthless! The Musical” drawing flesh and blood from their respective designer fingernails.
But in a hypothetical battle of Sylvias, let’s just say “Ruthless”‘ Sylvia St. Croix would slap “The Women’s” Sylvia Fowler back to the 1930s. And tiny Tina Denmark would send lovely little Mary Haines right over the Good Ship Lollipop without batting one diabolically adorable eyelash.
While “The Women” is satin-
gloves, retro mean, “Ruthless” is pure, guilty-pleasure mean. It’s being staged by the Nonesuch Theatre, new occupant of the Bas Bleu Theatre Company’s former 49-seat salon.
Rarely does a new theater come out of the womb operating at such a high level of efficiency. Nonesuch opened in October with “Nunsense,” which ran for 26 weeks to become the longest-running musical in Fort Collins history.
The gleefully campy “Ruthless” is modestly staged, but there is nothing modest about the combined talents of Gina Schuh-Turner, Brian Mallgrave and scary-good young homicidal ingénue Courtney Lorenz.
They deliver a tastelessly fun showbiz satire that draws on everything from “Gypsy” to “All About Eve” to “The Bad Seed” to “The Positively True Adventures of the Texas Cheerleader Murdering Mom.” This is a shockingly wrong celebration of vanity and profanity, yet its love for the form it spoofs remains evident.
“Ruthless” was a 1992 off-
Broadway hit that began as comic sketch written by Joel Paley. In it, he played a TV critic reviewing a fictional musical version of “The Bad Seed.” The musical to follow was updated two years ago in hopes of a West End revival that has yet to materialize, but Denver’s Theatre Group snagged the first production of the rewrite in 2003.
The story follows Tina Denmark, a Shirley Temple-like third-grade prodigy with a mom sweeter than June Cleaver and a streak meaner than Joan Collins. This girl talks such a blue streak, she could make “The Exorcist’s” Regan blush.
When Tina doesn’t get the role of Pippi Longstocking in the school play, she shoves the girl who did off a catwalk. This little bit of acting-out horrifies her mom (Schuh-Turner), but her talent scout (Mallgrave) appreciates her sense of career advancement. In a yummy little twist, “Ruthless” first bowed in ’92 with 10-year-old Britney Spears as the understudy to our killer little understudy.
Nonesuch’s first act is just about perfect in tone and execution (pun intended). The second act doesn’t work quite as well for two reasons: Director Nick Turner’s secondary characters aren’t as confidently defined as his big three, and a string of four unremarkable tunes saps some of the momentum as the complicated plot hurtles into hilarious absurdity. There are still surprises galore, among them that happy homemaker Judy has showbiz in her blood. And once she gets a taste, she sucks every drop.
Schuh-Turner has a superb soprano and a winsome comic ease that Denver audiences know well from her four years starring in “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.” Mallgrave, who excelled as the sexually ambiguous emcee in Boulder’s Dinner Theatre’s “Cabaret,” is a gifted singer. He’s far too young to play an age-appropriate Sylvia, but he captures her ruthless ambition with exactitude and comic precision, and without a wink. Mallgrave also shares a disarming chemistry with Lorenz, whose wickedly self-confident portrayal of Tina is the stuff of legends.
Lorenz has the tap-dancing talent necessary for us to buy her as a child prodigy and such charming malevolence that audience members may be afraid to turn their backs upon exiting.
Only the gifted piano man Troy Schuh accompanies the vocals, but that’s plenty for this venue. While the score is mostly unremarkable, Paley’s razor-sharp lyrics are to die for. His masterpiece is “I Hate Musicals!” in which theater critic Lita Encore sings, “I hate musicals, but I hear they are here to stay. I hate musicals, but not as much as ballet.”
It kills me every time.
Theater critic John Moore can be reached at 303-820-1056 or jmoore@denverpost.com.
“Ruthless! The Musical”
***
MUSICAL SATIRE|Nonesuch Theatre, 216 Pine St., Fort Collins|Written by Joel Paley (book and lyrics) and Marvin Laird (music)|Directed by Nick Turner|Starring Gina Schuh-Turner, Brian Mallgrave and Courtney Lorenz|THROUGH AUG. 13|7:30 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays, 2 and 7:30 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays|2 hours, 25 minutes|$20-$27.50|970-224-0444
