Registering for gifts at various stores, websites and catalogs takes the guesswork out of what to get a couple for their wedding.
But there are still plenty of questions to ask. Experts at theknot.com and weddingchannel.com help sort out the issues.
What do couples want?
In a survey by theknot.com and Kohl’s of 10,000 brides-to-be and 5,000 newlyweds, couples listed everyday cooking and entertaining as favorite activities, so it makes sense that kitchen electrics, cookware, bakeware, casual dinnerware, bedding and bath items got top billing on their registries.
Couples might have kitchen equipment, but with a wedding, “It’s time for an upgrade,” says Carley Roney, editor in chief of theknot.com. “They want things to match, and with everyone a foodie these days, they want professional equipment.”
Couples report that guys are doing more of the cooking too and are involved with selecting items for the registry.
Outdoor items, such as barbecue accessories, patio furniture, gardening equipment and supplies are also a priority, Roney says.
How much should I spend?
Your relationship to the couple determines how deep to dig in your pockets, but $50 is thought to be a minimum, according to theknot.com.
What you spend is going to vary widely depending on where you live, your station in life and how well you know the couple, but here are some averages: co-worker and/or a distant family friend or relative, $50-75; relative or friend, $75-$100; close relative or close friend, $100-$150-plus.
Is is OK to give a group gift?
Yes. The majority of the 5,000 newlyweds polled by theknot.com said such big-ticket gifts were their favorites. Vacuums, professional cookware, stand mixers, and sets of formal china and sterling silver were among the group gifts couples said they liked.
Is it ever acceptable to re-gift?
Newlyweds don’t like recycled gifts, according to theknot.com survey. If you do it, make sure you remove the original cards, a dead giveaway that you’re re-gifting.
Can a couple register several places?
Yes, but register for items in a variety of prices, says Marilyn Oliveira, editor of weddingchannel.com. Alternative registries, such as those for charities, honeymoons and for specialty stores like REI are gaining popularity, particularly when the couple is older and more likely to have an established household.
How do you get the word out about your registry? Is it wrong to list in the invitation?
Most couples spread the word about registry locations via word of mouth and their personal wedding Web page. It’s OK to list registry locations in a bridal shower invitation but not in the wedding invitation.
Is it OK to revise a registry?
Yes, couples can add or subtract items at any time. It’s a good idea to routinely monitor your registry because as the wedding date approaches, typically there are fewer choices left for guests to make.
For guests, if there’s nothing left on a registry that you want to get the couple or that you can afford, purchase a gift card from that registry because “they obviously like that store and would want other items from there,” Roney says.
When should you send the gift?
Mail the gift to the couple before the wedding. Taking gifts to the wedding or reception just puts more burden on the wedding party to safely get them to the couple.
If you can’t get the gift before the wedding, send it as soon as possible afterward. Peggy Post, the etiquette expert on weddingchannel.com, says it’s a myth that you have a year to send a gift.
Theknot.com recommends sending the gift within two months of the wedding. “Our research has found that the longer it’s been since the wedding, the more unlikely it is that the couple gets a gift at all,” Roney says.
