Q: Scott,
I need some advice on a situation I am dealing with now. I just want to
know if I am sane or losing it all together…lol!
Here’s some background on my situation: I have been friends with a guy we’ll call “Jay,” for about
three months. Well, we agreed to take it to the next level and have sex.
During the past month he has been acting like a boyfriend. You know, the
kissing, hand holding, putting his arm around me while watching TV… all
that stuff.
So I mentioned last night I was starting to have feelings for him. He acted shocked, saying he knew that was going to happen and deep down he is not interested me at all in that way.
Well, needless to say, it hurt me so I left his place as soon as he said that.
He called and still wants to be just friends without the benefits anymore. I
explained how I felt, and that he was sending me mixed signals. He doesn’t
understand how I would think that he wanted to be more than just
friends.
I am feeling really stupid for not seeing this coming. I never
let my guard down. I have gone through a lot with relationships lately, and
seems like no one wants to date anymore they just want to hook up.
Thanks,
– CONFUSED
SCOTT: I’m sorry you got hurt, but let me help you out with your confusion.
As you probably already know, Jay just wanted to get you in bed. Of course, you
didn’t see it coming, hence Jay’s mixed signals.
And that’s the
tricky part with guys: knowing when they’re telling you what you want to
hear to get what they want, like Jay did.
Jay sucks, and you need to get over
him because he’s not worth it. And don’t waste your time with a friendship
with him, either.
Instead, spend your valuable time with a quality guy who
wants the same things you want and who demonstrates respect for you.