Q: Dear Scott,
There’s a guy I had a great, passionate relationship with last year for a
few months that is now a friend with — very infrequent, but still passionate
— benefits. I obviously want more than he does, but he doesn’t want to pick
up where we left off, even though we both aren’t seeing other people and
still have feelings left hanging.
How can I get over this guy? Is there any secret to it?
I’m so drawn to him, and I have a lot of fun when we hang out together, but if he doesn’t want to be
with me, there’s no point in dragging this out, right?
He doesn’t treat me
half as well as I deserve to be treated, but — like so many other women — I’ve
stuck with it because of how he makes me feel when it’s “good.”
I deleted
his number out of my phone and he’s out of town for the summer. I need to
start dating guys who want me, but I am having a hard time letting go.
How can I move on when I think about him all the time?
Thanks,
– Rachel
SCOTT: Dear Rachel, I hate to tell you this but your “relationship” was a slight waste of time.
Maybe you don’t need me tell you that, but I will anyway.
The secret to getting over a guy is to cut him off, completely. We’re
talking no late night phone calls, no e-mail and definitely no sexual
benefits.
Seriously, nothing at all.
Otherwise, you perpetuate the
dysfunction and prolong the pain, which will only continue to drive you
batty!
Stay busy and hang out with supportive friends who’ll treat you right during
your transition phase. Do anything, just stay away from the new ex. Treat
this like a breakup, say goodbye and move on. For good.