Monday, Aug. 22
5 p.m. “Gracie’s Choice”
The teenaged girl wants to adopt her three younger siblings and cut ties with her self-destructive negligent mother. We don’t think Hallmark makes a card for that yet. (2004) Lifetime
5:30 p.m. “Laguna Beach: the Real Orange County”
Tonight, we get five back-to-back episodes. That’s two and a half hours of Southern California culture. You’ll be sporting a fake tan, a belly button ring and a subscription to People Abridged when you wake up tomorrow. MTV
6 p.m. “Monster House”
A family has its home remodeled along a Parisian theme. The model of the Eiffel Tower in the bedroom may be intimidating for some. Discovery Channel
6 p.m. “Moonraker”
Secret Agent James Bond must stop a mad scientist who has hijacked a space shuttle from unleashing an array of poison dispensing sattelites killing all human life on earth and re-colonizing the earth with a super race of bad actors with questionable fashion sense. (1979) Spike TV
7 p.m. “Seventh Heaven”
Simon’s girlfriend reveals that she has a sexually transmitted disease. Keep in mind, this is a family show. It’s probably cooties. WB
7:30 p.m. “Everybody Loves Raymond”
The wives pressure Ray and Frank to go with Robert to his therapy session. This is the kind of opportunity that typically ends with an emotional epiphany, the opening of honest dialogue and an hour of “recovery” in a sports bar. CBS