Q: Dear Scott,
I’ve got an odd question, but here goes the story: I’ve been in the business
field for all of my career (my degree is a BBA), but I’ve always felt a
deeper yearning with my career / life in that I’m not really doing what my
true talent is.
I’m just now truly preparing myself for graduate school in a completely different field and totally changing my life in the mid-30s,
and I’m terrified!! (I feel almost like I’m in college and on the cusp of
starting my adult life again.)
It’s during this time that I’ll need all the
support I can get from friends, but I’m afraid to reach out and share my
plans / feelings about this with them. I can’t figure out why I’m feeling
this way, because my true friends are really great and would be supportive.
It’s also a bit more than this — I’ve also completely closed myself off from
the prospect of dating during this “transition” period in my life, as I’m
expecting my life to be chaotic for a while, and who would necessarily want
to start a relationship in the middle of this.
I do feel irresponsible for not being more decisive about my life’s
direction until now — who waits this long to really grab onto their passion
and make it a career? I had hoped to be more settled and fulfilled in my
life by now.
Why am I feeling so afraid to reach out for support?
Signed,
– Miss Transition
SCOTT: How’d you know I like odd questions?
You’re feeling insecure about an
arduous transition, and it’s affecting everything else going on in your life,
including your relationships. Huh, so your question’s not that odd after
all.
Most people fear change. I know I do.
My sense is you’re a do-er, not a
say-er and there’s a lot in the air right now as you strike out into unknown territory. Until you know everything’s secure, some things are gonna
be out of whack.
Isolating yourself from others is a good example of this. A
career change is a scary thing to go through. Your stress levels must be
nuts right now!
While you’re branching out, try to make some time to work on managing the
stress. Anything from catching a movie to taking a walk will help.
Also, try
this: pick one trusted friend to open up to and tell them your fears and
what you’re going through. You already know you’ve got supportive people
around you, so keep reminding yourself that.
And forget about dating for now,
at least until life calms down.
In short, accept the change, give it time and stay on course with your
plans.
Everything will fall into place and your career and relationships
will flourish.