Q: Our oldest boy is starting fifth grade, and our youngest is starting third grade this fall. Last year both boys struggled with homework all through the year. Our fifth-grader writes very slowly, and almost every homework assignment requires him to write. He is very conscientious and would often spend three hours a night trying to get all his work done. Our younger son is too casual about doing his school work. When I ask if he has finished his homework, he says, “Yes,” but I’m not always convinced he has. My husband feels that we should stay out of the homework issue entirely and let the boys handle the responsibility. What advice do you have?
– W.M.
A: Support and encourage your boys with their homework, just as if you were teaching them to swim or play the piano. Show patience and encouragement. Give them the same guidance a good coach gives a player, and cheer on their progress. Make suggestions, offer to help find information, and serve cookies while they’re studying.
Show an interest in the content of the work. Ask to see the finished product. This gives you an opportunity to praise their effort.
Ask your fifth-grader’s teacher if he can use a word processor for his writing assignments. Learning to write, whether it’s reports, creative stories or essays is a very important skill. Help your sons store their work in an organized fashion. Homework for third-graders should require about 30 to 40 minutes, while fifth-graders’ should take around 60 minutes. If your sons spend more time than this, talk to the teachers about shortening assignments.
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Q: My stepson is going to be a sophomore in high school this year. He did poorly last year in all his classes except for getting A’s in band and jazz ensemble. He was even asked to be a section leader for his instrument group. The band also participated in a tournament in another state, which they won and were honored at a school assembly. My husband is concerned about his grades and is threatening to make him quit band. Should we make him quit band until he earns a C average?
– K.L.
A: No. Penalizing students for not doing well in some classes by taking away an opportunity to excel in others is unwise. His band participation teaches him responsibility, leadership and how to work with others. It also offers him a wonderful opportunity to build self-confidence through his musical abilities.
Find other ways to encourage him to improve his grades. Make sure he understands how to accomplish his assignments. Ask his teachers to send home a weekly progress report and reward his improvement each Friday.
Talk to his school counselor to arrange tutoring for him.
Write Cathleen Brown, The Denver Post, 1560 Broadway, Denver, CO 80202 or e-mail her at CABrown500@yahoo.com
