Now, class, for those of you who weren’t paying attention, “My Name Is Earl” and “Everybody Hates Chris” are the outstanding comedies of TV’s fall premiere week. We said they belong on the honor roll – and the ratings prove it.
“Criminal Minds,” an unimpressive crime drama on CBS, scored the highest grade of any new series in terms of attracting an audience, but we suspect it took advantage of its lead-in, “CSI.” Cheating will not be tolerated. We bet succeeding weeks will prove our point: the Mandy Patinkin hour is a pedestrian procedural.
In terms of ratings, Martha Stewart flunked. In terms of content, she was not as stiff as The Donald, and her “Apprentice” production values were equally slick.
The grades are in on the first week of TV’s fall season, and, not surprisingly, “Lost” aced its premiere.
Martha is consigned to study hall.
Let’s review.
While more than 15 million viewers chose the “Lost” clip show that led into the “Lost” premiere on ABC, only about 7 million watched “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” on NBC, in which the domestic diva made nice to fawning contenders.
Martha tried mightily to be the gentle, polite yang to Trump’s yin but, against the “Lost” recap, she just didn’t fit in to viewing schedules.
While “you just don’t fit in” was revealed as her clunky catchphrase on the Mark Burnett-produced “Apprentice” spinoff, the loser seemed to miss it as his cue to exit. She had to ad lib a “goodbye” to make it stick. (The line can’t touch The Donald’s “you’re fired”).
While she earned an F in the Nielsens, give Martha an A+ for cross-promotion. On her “Appren-
tice” edition, contenders created a children’s book, which is now sold by Random House and promoted on the syndicated daytime show “Martha” (9 a.m. on KCNC-Channel 4), which chats up the previous night’s loser. A tidy marketing monolith that averages out to a C.
Mystery deepens
Over on ABC, the opening of the hatch led to an ever-deeper level of mystery on the Emmy-
winning “Lost,” watched by 23 million viewers, leaving us hanging until this week to learn the fate of the airplane survivors on the raft. “Make Your Own Kind of Music,” indeed. For now, trust the brilliant J.J. Abrams to tell a compelling story and keep the mythology connected. He earns an A for suspense, but next week’s hour had better fill in some blanks.
NBC got a much-needed ratings boost from “My Name is Earl,” a quirky comedy about a loser who is intent on righting past wrongs, that drew some 15.3 million viewers on Tuesday, making it the night’s highest-rated show. That is the best the network has done in that time period in three years (since a “Frasier” episode in 2002). In fact, it’s the highest rated new comedy premiere on any network since Matt LeBlanc’s debut in “Joey.”
In terms of comedy, the offbeat “Earl” deserves an A to the lame “Joey’s” C-minus. The new Jason Lee half-hour also took a chunk of viewers from Fox’s “House.”
No surprise, considering the advance praise, that everybody loves Chris. Overnight ratings for Chris Rock’s clever half-hour, “Everybody Hates Chris,” helped the underachieving UPN on Thursday. “Chris” virtually tied “Joey” in total viewers.
UPN split the hairs this way: If you look only at the key 18-49 demographic, “Everybody Hates Chris” scored an amazing second-place finish in the time period. For lowly UPN! In major urban markets with a higher percentage of African-American audiences, the show ranked No.1 or No.2.
CBS’s “CSI” remains Thursday’s most-watched show after a strong sixth-season premiere watched by 28 million viewers. Following “CSI,” “Criminal Minds” debuted with nearly 20 million viewers to become the week’s most-watched newcomer. “Criminal Minds” handily beat the season premiere of “ER” on NBC. With “Survivor: Guatemala” winning its time period, too, CBS clearly dominates Thursdays.
Paranormal report card
The superior “Supernatural” worked wonders for the WB. The combination road picture and urban-myth horror show clicked with viewers. CBS’s “Threshold” did far worse in the ratings than it deserved. NBC’s underwater thriller “Surface” did well enough. ABC’s “Invasion” averaged a strong rating, keeping the network on top in the hour after “Lost,” but the sci-fi thriller fell off in its second half-hour.
Those frisky “Gilmore Girls” beat the premiere of “Bones.” The season premiere of the American version of “The Office” continued the lousy performance of last season despite Steve Carrell’s movie publicity blitz.
And it’s too soon to tell about CBS’s “Ghostwhisperer” and Fox’s creepy “Killer Instinct.” Give both incompletes because ratings for the Friday shows were not available at press time.
“Nip/Tuck,” the shocking, sometimes unbearable drama about plastic surgeons on FX goes to the head of the class, if you like that sort of thing. The 90-minute season premiere delivered record ratings for FX. It also drew the coveted 18-49 demographic from the broadcast networks to catch the sexual/surgical doings on cable.
Insiders suggest the numbers on “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” may determine how NBC does overall this season. Wednesday is considered up for grabs since Fox’s “American Idol” is off the air until January. If Martha rebounds, NBC could edge past ABC. If not, ABC’s “Lost” will continue to carry the night and go a long way toward capturing the week. The real test will come in four weeks, with the November sweeps.
Meanwhile, be sure to catch the arrival of Geena Davis this week as the first female president in ABC’s “Commander in Chief” (premiering at 8 p.m. Tuesday on KMGH-Channel 7), a smart show that, if it goes deeper, could pick up where the fading “West Wing” leaves off. (See related story on page 5F.) For extra credit, imagine how Aaron Sorkin might have written the new White House drama.
TV critic Joanne Ostrow can be reached at 303-820-1830 or jostrow@denverpost.com.
