Q: I am in love with love.
I have been with my boyfriend for years and love him very much, though I know that I could find someone who was more on my level regarding life choices and personality traits. Not to say I think I am better than him, simply that I want more out of a relationship.
Well, about eight months ago, I met my best friend’s brother, whom I hang out with probably once a week, and I adore him. We have kissed and I enjoy his company so much, and I really want to be with him.
However, I know where my relationship could go right now and I don’t know if I am ready to start all that over again.
I want to be in a relationship with this other guy even though he is several years younger than me, and I know he is interested in me when we are in a group, but we have never done anything alone or even talked on the telephone.
What do I do and where do I go? I am sure (I think) that the only reason I am still with current boyfriend is because of history.
Thanks,
– Spinning through Choices
SCOTT: You’re not spinning through choices, you’re spinning out of control!
It’s insensitive and selfish to treat these two men as objects. You also have to know that if you overlap relationships as you are, neither one will work out.
Ask yourself these questions:
What have I contributed to my current relationship?
What have I done to make it work?
Most likely, the answers are nothing and nothing. You’re like a reality show without a camera crew.
Breaking up with your boyfriend isn’t only necessary; it’s the honest and noble thing to do. Don’t think you’re doing him any favors by stringing him along. You’re not.
Play fair and let him go so you can be the slut you really want to be.
And forget about your history together; that’s no reason to stay in a dead relationship. You need more than that to keep it healthy and thriving, you need to contribute something.
Come on! Do I really need to tell you that juggling relationships is wrong?
OK, it is. So now what are you going to do about it? Go ahead and say you’re in love with love and make it sound as lovely as possible.
Hey wait, I’ve got an idea that’ll work out for everyone: get it together, dump your boyfriend and stay single for a while, at least until you grow up. You’re obviously too shallow and immature for a relationship right now anyway.