Dear Amy: I just found out my live-in boyfriend has a 2-year-old child. He wants nothing to do with her or her mother, who was pregnant when we began to date. He had already broken up with her and has not seen her since the breakup.
We have no desire to see this child. He may have to pay child support anyway. We had to change our hone number when we moved to avoid the calls. The problem is his friends and family. I found out about this child when I read an e-mail – we share everything – from a close friend just ripping him to shreds.
I want to send an e-mail to everyone on his list telling them to butt out. What do you think?
– Not Interested
Dear Not: Ewww. I think I need to take a shower. Of course your live-in boyfriend will have to pay child support; furthermore, running from it (changing your phone number, etc.) is against the law. This guy’s friends and family aren’t the problem. He is. And you are.
Don’t you get it? Guys who dump pregnant girlfriends and deny their children are sleazebags. Women who do the dirty work for them are aiding and abetting in a crime against society – and though it’s not technically a crime, I certainly wish I could make a citizen’s arrest.
…
Dear Amy: I am getting fed up with cellphones. Every time my friends and I have lunch together, they must stop and answer their phones, chat and talk about things that could wait. They have never received an urgent call.
We had lunch together for 30 years without phone interruptions and, all of a sudden, nothing is as important as that darned cellphone.
I am having my friends over for lunch soon. Should I take their handbags and hide them in the bedroom, cover them with coats, and hope they don’t hear the phones ringing? I will take the time to prepare a delicious meal, and they will not have the courtesy to turn off their phones long enough for an hour or two of food and fun.
– Tired of CPs in Georgia
Dear Tired: I hear you, sister. Or rather, I could hear you if it weren’t for the person sitting next to me on the bus, self-narrating what must be a very empty life (“… he said the toenail had fungus and might need to come off …”). In fact, of all of the cellphone conversations I have overheard during the past couple of years, only one stands out as being justifiable. Yesterday, while at a cafe, I heard a man answer his phone, listen intently, then say, “OK. Check the patient’s history and then start the IV drip, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” That guy should definitely have a phone with him at all times.
Try responding to your friends’ rudeness with an aggressive maneuver, tinged with humor.
I suggest that you get a small basket, label it “The Cellphone Crib,” or some such name, and announce to your friends that you would love it if everyone could let their cellphones take a “nap” while you are visiting with one another. You start by taking out your own cellphone (if you have one), turning it off and placing it in the basket. Then pass the basket around the table. Once your friends have placed their phones in the basket, place the basket in a cupboard.
If your friends refuse, they may be more attached to their cellphones than they are to you.
E-mail askamy@tribune.com or write Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
