Dear Amy: I have lived in my home for 20 years.
We have had some fabulous neighbors in the past, but now we are confronted with a million-dollar rehab and neighbors who are not that considerate.
I had four dogs, one of which was an aggressive German shepherd. My daughter let the dogs out of the house, and our dog bit the neighbors’ dog very badly.
I was very upset and decided to put my dog to sleep.
I told my neighbor that I would take care of her vet bill. It was a whopping $400! I was shocked and asked my vet if he thought the bill seemed right. He said it was very high.
I really can’t afford to pay the bill. I have two daughters in college and another in high school, and I am trying to find a job to help supplement my husband’s teaching salary, just so we can get by.
I feel these neighbors are using us. What’s your perspective?
– Dog Tired
Dear Dog: Let me get this straight. Your aggressive dog severely injured their dog, and now you are somehow the injured party and they are the bad neighbors.
It would be one thing if your neighbors hadn’t given you the bill directly from their vet, but they did. So your gripe should be with their vet, who you seem to think overcharged them.
Though I’m not a dog owner, I’ve rarely left the vet’s office with a sick or injured cat for less than several hundred dollars. Anesthesia, stitches, dressings, rehab and prescription medicines are all very costly.
I will give you the same method to use that I used when my pet was severely ill and needed extensive treatment. In my case, the animal hospital was willing to take monthly payments. Perhaps your neighbors would do the same.
…
Dear Amy: My husband and I live about three hours away from his parents.
We have two small children – one is an infant.
We are constantly expected to be the ones to make the trip to Grandma’s house. They hardly ever come down to our house.
So far this year we’ve been up there about five times, and they’ve come to visit us twice.
Recently, my mother-in-law told me that we owed her a visit, even though we had been up there three times recently.
It is not so easy to pack up both kids and fit all of our luggage, diapers, baby formula, a stroller and a playpen (they said they would buy some baby items, such as a playpen but never did, and told me to strap it to the roof of my car).
All they have to bring when they come is themselves.
Usually she deals with me – never my husband.
My own mother has passed away, so these are the only grandparents my kids have.
How can I get them to understand that we need to compromise and be fair about visits?
– Frustrated Mom
Dear Frustrated: You don’t mention that you’ve even attempted to speak with your mother-in-law about this. She and her husband may not feel comfortable driving, or perhaps she has simply forgotten what it is like to lug a young child and baby around.
Don’t let her guilt-trip you. Unless she has a compelling reason to avoid coming to see you, she’ll have to figure out how to make the trip.
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Dear Amy: This letter is in response to the letter writer who expressed his annoyance at waitstaff who stick their nose in his face and ask, “Is everything OK?” For his information, in every corporate chain restaurant and just about every non-corporate restaurant, waitstaff are REQUIRED to approach the table after the customers receive their food and ask if the diner needs anything – and must do so in a certain amount of time.
– Longtime Waitperson
Dear Waitperson: I’ve heard from many “waitpeople” who would like to remind diners that they have to ask, “Is everything OK?”
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