Q: My son, who is almost 2, is still not sleeping through most nights. He goes to bed OK, but he wakes up around 1 or 2 a.m. yelling in his crib. At some point, my husband and I began bringing him into our bed because it proved a surefire way to get him back to sleep, but now he expects this treatment and none of us ends up getting good sleep because my son wiggles around so much. I don’t want to let my son “cry it out” in the middle of the night because he seems so upset when he wakes up alone in the dark. I just don’t know what to do. Help!
– No name
A: Consider making a bed on the floor by your bed for your son to use if he wakens in the middle of the night. This solution offers him closeness without the inconvenience of his wiggly sleep. He can come into your room for comfort, but he has to use his special bed.
You are wise to reject the “crying it out” system. Crying is nature’s plan for a child to signal he is in need. Nature designed a close attachment between children and parents so the young would be cared for. Crying was designed to trigger a response from parents. It is an effort to communicate, not a plan to manipulate.
When parents ignore a child’s signs of distress it weakens the trust and security a toddler feels in being able to communicate with a caretaker.
Read “The Baby Sleep Book,” by William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N. The authors counsel parents, “Try not to view this nighttime visit as bad behavior. It is natural and normal. It will diminish in time without your even needing to discourage it.”
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Q: My 8-year-old son is having difficulty learning to read. His teacher is concerned and so are we. I have heard of a program called “Hooked on Phonics” and wondered if you had any information that would help us decide how we should handle this problem.
– J.D.
A: Have your son tested to determine if he has any physical or neurological problems which would interfere with his ability to read. Ask the principal of his school if he can be tested by a district psychologist to rule out complicating factors. Also, ask the principal about reading help available to your son through the special programs at his school.
Arrange to have your son work with a tutor; a high school or college student, or an adult volunteer. Choose an individual who is skilled at connecting with children.
Reading experts tell us that children use a variety of learning styles in learning to read – pattern recognition, contextual clues, and decoding of sounds. Many children use a combination of all three styles. A product that focuses on one method of learning may help some children but will not help others.
Write Cathleen Brown care of The Denver Post, 1560 Broadway, Denver, CO 80202, or CABrown500@yahoo.com.
