Q: My niece and her husband have a 2-year-old son in day care. Last year’s teacher thought he was too active. This year’s teacher has referred to him as the class clown because he “performs” until the class laughs.
My niece is concerned. When her son and his dad do somersaults or he gets tossed in the air, we all cheer. I think my nephew is a happy, outgoing child who isn’t mature enough to know that what is acceptable at home may not be acceptable at school. To me, he seems normal.
I can’t believe a 2-year-old could be thought of as too active. His parents do read to him, but activity in the home tends to be more physical, such as running, playing and joyful yelling. My niece said it’s how they all release their energy of being at work and school all day.
– M.C.
A. Two-year-olds are normally very active, and it appears your nephew has a higher level of energy than many other youngsters. Some families have high energy levels, while others prefer more sedentary interests. The day-care teacher is expecting too much if she expects your nephew to remain still for very long.
Visit the day-care center and observe the group in action. Your nephew is at the age when motor skills are developing, and running and jumping are natural outcomes. Day care for 2-year-olds should consist primarily of play.
Clapping and cheering for children when they demonstrate accomplishments does not turn them into class clowns. Differences in enjoying being the center of attention or feeling uncomfortable in this position are influenced more by genetic tendencies.
…
Q: My 10-year-old daughter is so bossy with her friends that I’m afraid she won’t have any soon. I talk to her about it and she says she understands, but then she keeps behaving that way. Is it just her age or should I be concerned?
– C.T.
A. Turn your concern into a program for teaching her how to be the kind of leader that other friends will want to follow. Help her understand that bossing her friends around will make them feel less than equal. Explain that bossing others shows a lack of respect.
Set up a point system for talking to her friends in a considerate way. Teach her what to say. Start with examples of her bossy directions and provide her with words that change them into thoughtful requests. Encourage her to practice with family members.
Give her points toward a reward each time she uses a thoughtful or diplomatic direction. A point program accentuates the positive. It does not rely on reminding her about the wrong behavior but focuses on the desired behavior.
Her bossy approach might be fueled by pre-adolescent development. Regardless of this possibility, you need to help her learn consideration in dealing with others.
Write Cathleen Brown care of The Denver Post, 1560 Broadway, Denver, CO 80202, or CABrown500@yahoo.com.
