Q: Scott,
I recently moved in with my fiancé, who has a 7-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. That previous relationship ended about six years ago.
Anyway, the other day his daughter’s mom came over to the house to get their child’s stuffed animal. The catch is, no one was home and she let herself in because she still has a key.
I was very upset and he doesn’t understand why. He said they co-parent her 50/50 and it is easier for her to be able to let herself in if she needs anything.
Should I be OK with this? My feelings were that is my home now too and she should give up the key and call first out of respect for me. Am I being unreasonable?
Sincerely,
– Confused about what is right
SCOTT: Of course not! Now that you’re around, she shouldn’t have a key to anything.
The arrangement of her coming and going may have worked at one time, but now that you’re in the picture, it’s all null and void.
His ex + a key to the house = a recipe for disaster.
Remember that.
My message to you is to not question yourself about something you know isn’t right. From now on, she should have the courtesy to call before she comes by and that will in no way infringe on their co-parenting arrangement.
Perfect!
Now explain that to your fiancé and stick to your guns. Clearly, the key to the success of this relationship will be changing the locks.