So what’s behind all the holiday histrionics?
Weren’t we all working to eliminate “holiday stress”? (Google that phrase, and you’ll find more than 15 million entries.)
Candace Harris of Denver, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in family issues, says the competitive nature of baby boomers drives much of the craziness surrounding the holidays.
“That’s how some people play out the internal stress, with this competitive gotta-make-the-
holidays-magical-and-special thinking,” she says.
“There are increased expectations that people go into the holidays with. It’s such a setup to become out of balance in terms of activity and spending and food and alcohol – everything is out of balance. It’s all kind of this wild ride that’s sanctioned.”
That part harks back to childhood – the fantasy of Christmas as experienced by children.
“It’s an escape. … Christmas is like this time out of time where you can create this fairyland and everybody becomes more childlike, because it’s a child-centered holiday. … It’s about getting presents, having your wishes come true.”
But what if they don’t?
“Once you get into December, people either hide out till the holidays are over, or they go at this incredible pace and get all caught up in it, trying to meet their own and other people’s expectations about what to do over holidays, then they crash in January. That’s when my phone rings.”
Here’s her advice about how to keep it simple and keep those holiday blues at bay:
Be conscious of potential for holidays to generate disappointment and possible depression or anxiety. Make decisions as to how you want to plan your time.
Go to fewer parties, go late and leave early, drink less, and stick to a budget so you won’t be resentful because you spent so much.
Breathe. It is a great time to talk to someone if you are in a pattern of getting really stressed out and crashing.
Make it more of a spiritual time – and give yourself the gift of tenderness and compassion.
– Leslie Lyon
