Anybody who is even remotely acquainted with me knows that I love a good bachelor party. Heck, I love a bad bachelor party.
Naturally, a marriage between me and “Coors Guys Night Out” at a Denver Nuggets game made a fait accompli.
Such unconditional love is a many-splendored thing. The stuff of poetry, really.
Strike up the ad, Maestro!
I. Love.
Burning cells in brain.
Camping in the lane.
Refs whom to complain.
And twins.
Bless their hearts, the Nuggets’ promotional team set aside six games this season for boys to be boys from the safety of the Pepsi Center’s center balcony, corner balcony and end balcony. In seats that normally cost $28 apiece, Guys Night Out gets a guy two tickets, two Coors beers (or Pepsis) and two Guys Night Out T-shirts for a mere $39. The moment I learned that the Nuggets would entertain “Tru Warier” and his Indiana Pacers on one such night, I gladly committed to attend thee — as is any guy’s wont.
Trouble was: happened to fall on the very same night that featured only the most highly anticipated game of college football in recent memory. I couldn’t go at Guys Night Out alone.
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COORS GUYS NIGHT OUT
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Seriously, I could not.
They call it Guys Night Out — not Guy — for a reason. I learned at the Kroenke Sports box office that Guys Night Out packages must be purchased with a minimum of two tickets.
I was in a pickle. What self-respecting American male would forego watching a Rose Bowl pitting two undefeated teams to decide college football’s national championship?
In moral crises such as these, I find direction by consulting that most ancient compass: What would the Blues Brothers do?
So I got the band back together.
The Guys Night Out pitch to my rock-and-roll quintet that practices like it’s 1999 struck a rhapsodic chord. And before I could holler, “Oh, no, let’s go; let’s go crazy,” guitarist Ryan Cook, bassist Brett Julander, guitarist Ken Pappalardo and percussionist Brian Sparks followed the beat of their drummer to section 376, row 6, seats 1-5.
After redeeming our vouchers for the free beer and T-shirt at the designated depot, we found our seats. Our perch was closer to the Pearly Gates than the hardwood, so it was easy to get distracted from the game. There were terrific questions to ponder.
What in tarnation happened to KCUV’s format once the radio station switched to FM? Does “Guys Night Out” qualify as a misnomer if gals are eligible for the promotion? Which school’s cheerleaders are more fetching: USC or Texas? And, of course, there were musings less likely to meet Saint Peter’s approval.
One question that stumped the panel: Are they really playing music while the Nuggets are playing?
It was one thing for the PA to pump out “Danger Zone,” “Crazy Train” and “Dr. Feelgood” during timeouts and intermissions. But it seemed, at best, absurd to watch Nuggets point guard Andre Miller bring the ball up the court to a soundtrack.
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| Post / Bryan Boyle |
| Showing off the T-shirts and beer that come with a Nuggets ticket on “Coors Guys Night Out,” from left to right, bandmates Ken Pappalardo, Brett Julander, Ryan Cook and Brian Sparks enjoy the company of Coors promoters Shana Miller, left, and Jana Rasmussen. No, your eyes do not deceive you; that’s Ryan giving the thumbs-up. |
Ryan called it “manufactured atmosphere,” suggesting that the play in a midseason NBA game can be listless. To compensate, the PA is one instrument, along with the dancing team and the cheerleading team and the promotions team shooting each other or T-shirts into the air, designed to bombard the senses. The illusion betrayed the reality: NBA games can be downright dull.
Brett cited an online chat where no less of a figure than NBA commissioner David Stern conceded that the canned music at NBA games might be getting out of hand.
In last month, Stern wrote: “We’re trying to find a few games to experiment with for teams to give us a ‘silent night’ so to speak.”
With our senses and sensibilities bruised, and with Ron Artest and Jermaine O’Neal both out of the Pacers’ lineup, we agreed that we weren’t seeing anything that the Altitude network doesn’t provide most of the season — and with a better view. So we split for Brooklyn’s, an inaptly named saloon adjacent to the Pepsi Center. There we watched .
No need for lipstick on that pigskin. Only Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio had ever heard such cheering.
An online exclusive that runs each Friday, examines the memorable, less visible and lighthearted aspects of Colorado’s sports landscape. DenverPost.com sports producer Bryan Boyle can be reached at bboyle@denverpost.com.
From the columns
“With 26 seconds remaining in the Rose Bowl, all of the Trojans needed a new jig. Vince Young was ready to take the snap on a fourth-down play from the 8, down five points, down most of the second half to USC, and his head was up and his mind was focused on making something happen. Something memorable and something grand.”
From the mailbags
“There are plenty of characters worse than Sprewell that NBA teams have taken a chance on. The man certainly has his issues, but if you ask guys who have played with him, they usually talk about how great he is in the locker room.”
From the message boards
“I don’t know about the Nuggets. We need someone to take it hard to the hoop. It is seems like we don’t have inside game at all. K-mart, Mello and Miller, what a jokes. Those guys didn’t do anything good for the team yet. The only one that step us is Camby.” — konlaosam
From the online exclusives
View Carmelo Anthony’s public service announcement for WildAid. From WildAid’s website: “WildAid’s mission is to decimate the illegal wildlife trade within our lifetimes. … We are also revolutionary in our funding — sending 100% of donations from the public directly to the field.”
A look back
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| Post file |
Former Denver Nuggets player Kiki Vandeweghe averaged 19.7 points per game over 13 NBA seasons. In 293 career games with the Nuggets, Vandeweghe averaged 23.3 ppg while shooting 54 percent from the field and 86 percent from the free-throw line. He has been the general manager of the Nuggets since August 2001. (Source: nuggets.com) |
