It’s about the individual. What do you want and need out of life to feel fulfilled, nurtured and content? What’s important to you? Having a great relationship with your family? Creating quality time for yourself? Not feeling tired at the end of the day? Being able to assert yourself in stressful situations?
For the next few weeks, I will provide you with tips to help you get where you want to go – that is, if you’re heading for life enrichment. My next few columns are dedicated to techniques that help ground us, make us more comfortable with ourselves and create a foundation to build the lives we’ve always wanted.
Included are not only tips I’ve learned through different teaching modalities and from friends family and colleagues who themselves are on the path of life enrichment, but also methods that work for me (And, hopefully, will encourage you to develop your own oddball techniques!).
As you read each week, choose one or two items to integrate into your life and practice them faithfully. Then, if you so choose, add a few more. I think you’ll be surprised by the difference these tips will make – and just how good you can feel by making small, daily changes:
Spend time with your best friend – you. Most of my life I’ve been an extrovert. I like to be around people. I like being invited to parties, throwing parties, being at parties and seeing people interact at parties. Being around others energizes me and makes me laugh.
But the older I get, the more I appreciate the value of being by myself. It’s an unsung delight! You are, or you should be anyway, your best friend. Remember that old saying – you can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, how can you be comfortable around others?
So, start slowly. Spend some time tucked away in a room in your house. Sneak away to a coffee shop on a Sunday morning. Go for a jog. Once you’ve gotten used to small activities with no one else, graduate to a movie or dinner by your lonesome. Read a book, people-watch; enjoy your meal or a flick. It’s amazing the feeling of comfort, solace and joy that washes over your body when you can enjoy your own space. See where it takes you.
Feel your feelings. Seems easy doesn’t it? The very word “feelings” wouldn’t be a word without the word, and hopefully the action, “feel.”
But many of us do not feel our feelings; we stuff them down to be politically correct, to protect others or just because we don’t want to experience the full effect of intense emotion.
A parent angers you, your spouse says something that pains you, your friend shocks you with a comment that leads to surprise, anger and then hurt. None of these particularly are emotions we like to experience, let alone express. But sensing emotion in the moment can help prevent its resurgence at a later, often inopportune time.
So how do you “feel your feelings” without making those around you wacko?
Fully experiencing emotion doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll cry reflexively or throw a tantrum when anger boils beneath the surface. Once you’ve made a choice to experience the vast spectrum of emotion given to you, then it is time to make a conscious choice to express it appropriately.
For instance – for women especially – telling your boss in an assertive, yet respectful manner that you feel underappreciated or have ideas for a certain project may be a risk, but done appropriately, it will show career maturity. If you feel like you can’t have such a conversation without negative consequences, create a stress-relieving activity (I’ll give you plenty of tips for these in the next few weeks!), and integrate it into your regular routine so you have a release for emotions that eventually could overflow.
By experiencing emotions when they arise and creating an outlet to “let them go,” you create a healthier mind-set and a healthier you.
Next week: De-clutter, organize, speak, drink; be you!
Doni Luckett is chief executive of Divine-Basics.com, which produces lifestyle products to reconnect with moments that matter. Your questions may be addressed in the column by e-mailing enrichyourlife@divine-basics.com.
