Q: Hi Scott,
I recently came back from an amazing ski trip over the weekend and met some new people over the entire time. And, I hope to keep in contact with them.
But there was one person in particular that really struck my attention. He and I skied together the entire weekend and got along really well.
We had some good conversations and great laughs. I felt like I was in heaven. I forgot about all my worries and felt alive again with this person.
We both promised to keep in contact and ski together again this season.
I never expressed my feelings to this person for fear of ruining the good time we were having. I told myself that I would proclaim my feelings for him via e-mail (which is terrible, I know).
But now that we are back to our daily routine and not playing in the snow…. I feel my worries coming back all over again.
I’m afraid to proclaim my feelings for him. I just have this gut feeling that he does not feel the same for me.
Was this person just a fluke, and was I teased into thinking that life could be greener on the other side?
Was it just a pipe dream?
SCOTT: It’s sometimes hard to distinguish friendship from something more, and I’m not completely opposed to you sending him an e-mail. It might be a great new way for you two to communicate, plus some guys are better at communicating through writing than vocally.
But with that, I wouldn’t bury him with a dramatically deep e-mail confession, at least not if you want a chance with him. Do that and you may wind up writing to me to ask why you never heard from him again!
We don’t want that.
Play it cool and send him a short e-mail saying how much you enjoyed his company, skiing together and the conversations and then end it with your phone number. That’ll be his invitation for him to call — that is, if he wants to.
You aren’t sure how he feels about you, so test the waters first and see if he expresses interest in hanging out and not just skiing together.
You don’t just go from skiing to marriage. There’s got to be a process in between!