Highlands Ranch lawyer Scott Lasater is unapologetic about wielding the tremendous power that comes with parenting in the digital age.
For three years, he has kept a careful eye on his 17-year-old daughter’s online interaction. He has had the power to read every e-mail and instant message she receives and sends, watch every website she visits and scan every electronic document – right down to individual keystrokes – she creates and deletes.
“When I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s, we didn’t have children walking through the hallways of their school murdering their classmates and teachers,” he says. “We didn’t have pedophiles arranging online to meet children and take them to hotel rooms. And we couldn’t, as 7-year-olds, type ‘Barbie’ into a computer hoping to see a new toy or play a game and instead learn exactly what explicit pornography is.”
Lasater says he installed Spectorsoft’s powerful eBlaster “spyware” on his home computer after his daughter started hanging out with teenagers he suspected of mischief. He told his daughter about the monitoring after he read an explicit e-mail she received from a boy who propositioned her for oral sex.
“Mature, intelligent, responsible parents are foolish not to monitor the Internet activity and conversations of their kids,” Lasater says.
And yet the majority of parents with home Internet connections aren’t paying much attention to what their children are doing online, suggest studies conducted by the National Cyber Security Alliance, a consortium of tech companies and government agencies that promote computer security.
America Online Inc. contributed to the study by sending researchers into the homes of 329 broadband and dial-up users and found that 83 percent of parents surveyed weren’t using any controls to guard their children from inappropriate content and contact with strangers. Only 4 percent of broadband users surveyed used parental control- a disturbing finding given that high-speed access is more conducive to file sharing of pornographic pictures, movies and other content inappropriate for children.
Security experts say parents’ lackadaisical approach to virtual discipline stems from low awareness of the tools that are available and the perception that parental controls require tech savvy to install and maintain. But it doesn’t take much time or money to control a child’s computer use. Here are a few things parents should know when getting started:
You get what you pay for. The latest versions of AOL and Microsoft’s Internet service cost about $25 a month and include built-in features that sharply limit Web surfing and the nature of correspondence flowing in and out of a computer. Detailed logs allow parents to review a child’s e-mail, instant messaging and chat room visits. Other Internet providers may charge less for Internet access – but don’t necessarily offer parental controls. Curbing a child’s ability to “chat” or send instant messages is crucial. “Teach a child that talking to screen names in a chat room is the same as talking with strangers,” recommends the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
Software can help. A variety of programs ranging in price from $25 to $50 let parents customize controls to suit an individual child’s personality and behavior. Software applications such as Spectorsoft and Security Software’s Cyber Sentinel work in conjunction with all browsers, while some controls provided by AOL may not function as well with rival Microsoft and vice versa. Stephen Buckmelter, a certified information security professional who lives in Denver, uses Netmop (netmop.com) to shield his grade-schooler from inappropriate content. The online-subscription service offers protection for as little as $4.50 a month. Buckmelter says he and his wife also forbid their son from using the computer in his room with the door closed. “Prevention is ideal, but detection is a must,” he says.
Supervision is required. Paula Riggs, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the University of Colorado at Denver and Health Sciences Center, said parents can foster a trusting and loving relationship with their children by making rules regarding computer use clear and easy to follow. She recommends that parents inform their children upfront about their ability to monitor computer use – and the consequences children face when they break rules. “Parents should adjust the line of privacy (according to) a kid’s capability and past behavior,” Riggs says. “But when a child crosses a line that worries a parent, it is the parent’s responsibility to do what it takes to keep them safe.”
Staff writer Christine Tatum can be reached at 303-820-1015 or ctatum@denverpost.com.
