Remember The Drive? You ain’t seen nothing yet, Broncomaniacs.
In a city where the local NFL team already owns the keys and cars proudly wear the John Elway badge, your Broncos now want to be as prominent during rush hour as gridlock on Interstate 25.
The team is hoping the Colorado Legislature will give the OK for street-legal and unmistakably orange Broncos license plates.
“It sounds like a nice idea,” representative Betty Boyd of Lakewood said Thursday. “My guess is the plates would generate a lot of money.”
We are Broncos Nation. Love it or leave it.
But whoever came up with this idea must have been in a state of orange madness.
“It would be good branding for us, and all the proceeds would go to charity,” said Greg Carney, the team’s vice president of marketing.
The No. 1 license plate in Colorado is a classic mountain scene painted on a field of green. Nothing, not even the awesome power of the Broncos, will change that.
For a few extra bucks, however, a vehicle owner can choose from more than two dozen special-interest plates, adorned with everything from a farm to a greyhound.
The Broncos figure: Why not a horse?
“I think it’s outrageous. It’s absurd. It’s arrogant. You do wonder: What’s next?” said Denver activist Jason Salzman, president of Cause Communications. “It’s bad enough there is a taxpayer-supported stadium that we built for the Broncos. Why not get the legislature to promote the Broncos directly?”
If approved, orange license plates would certainly fit in Denver, where it’s tough to tell where Broncomania ends and the brown cloud begins.
“It could create a safety hazard. Because when the Broncos lose, there might be cars of upset fans slamming into each other,” Salzman said, tongue firmly planted in cheek.
OK, I admit it. There are more crucial topics of football debate than whether a highway jammed with rolling billboards for the Broncos would violate separation of church and state in Colorado, where the NFL is religion.
But all the weighty issues confronting the Broncos and Steelers in the AFC championship game have already been run into the ground. Will Denver cover the point spread? Does Pittsburgh safety Troy Polamalu ever find baby birds nesting in his hair? Would any red-blooded Colorado man really trade two playoff tickets for a free vasectomy?
Every Broncos tag purchased would drop an extra $25 in state coffers for road improvements, and additional proceeds would benefit team charities rather than Denver players. That’s all good.
The obvious marketing value to the franchise, however, stretches the definition of nonprofit organization. Which only goes to prove the Broncos not know their X’s and O’s, but must be pretty well versed in poetic license, as well.
Car plates serve as nationwide ambassadors for a state, with slogans declaring ideals citizens hold dear. Illinois drivers boast of living in the “Land of Lincoln.” In New Hampshire, fiercely independent folks “Live Free or Die.”
Do motorists from Colorado, already known for personalities as famous as Hunter S. Thompson and JonBenet Ramsey, seriously want to advertise these parts as “apountry,” in the same goofy way that Idaho is famous for potatoes? When the bill reaches our capitol, maybe lawmakers should also consider changing the state song to “Rock ‘N’ Roll Part 2” in honor of Gary Glitter.
“I’m surprised,” Salzman said, “that we haven’t changed the Colorado welcome signs at the state line to ‘Welcome to Colorado, home of the Broncos.”‘
Welcome to Colorful Colorado. We have two. Orange. And blue.
Let us hope the Broncos allow for a little personalization to be included in the proposal for the self-promoting license plates. Imagine the possibilities.
We could wave at the MSTRMND as coach Mike Shanahan drives home from work.
After making a name for himself, cheeky quarterback Jake Plummer could tag his car with JOHNWHO.
And, when you think about it, there can be only one logical owner for a Broncos plate that reads GOTUR$. It would have to be Pat Bowlen.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-820-5438 or mkiszla@denverpost.com.
