Q: I have sons 6 and 2 1/2 years old, and a 16-month-old daughter. When my middle child turned 2, he started expressing interest in the toilet, so I sat him there, and he went with no problem. Over the next five or six months he would occasionally have an accident, but that was because I was not sitting him down in a timely manner. Lately he’s been having almost daily accidents. He laughs and giggles and calls “Mommy” because he wants a reaction. I’ve tried everything but nothing works. He never has accidents at preschool, so I know it’s something I’m doing (wrong). Also, he is very mean to his baby sister. He will walk by her and push her down or kick her or even bite her. I’ve tried time outs, and he’ll sit there screaming the entire time, and then he’s even angrier afterward. Any advice?
– No Name
A: Your first priority is to protect your daughter from her brother’s bullying. Monitor the two of them carefully and step in the moment you see him looking as if he’s got mischief in mind. Lead him away from the action and be very firm in telling him that hurting others is not allowed. Tell him you would not let anyone push, kick or bite him, and you are not going to let him hurt his sister.
He’s too young to benefit from being put in time out. Hitting him would only demonstrate that hurting others is acceptable and would violate the rule you are teaching. It is common to see heightened aggressiveness emerge in 2- and 3-year-olds. Supervise him carefully during these aggressive months until his mental development can help him control his actions. Aggressiveness generally diminishes as children approach 4 and 5.
Don’t assume that his potty behavior is caused by something you’re doing wrong. It is possible that his awareness of his baby sister has prompted him to revert to more babyish ways, however, few 2-year-old boys are potty trained. Tell him he can wear pull-ups until he’s ready.
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Q: My brother, dad and I recently went to the store to pick up a couple of things. My brother and I got our items and came back and saw my dad looking at a magazine that had girls in suggestive poses on the front and a suggestive title. Later, on that same trip, I saw him looking at one again. I know my dad had an affair in the past. I don’t want to tell my mom because I don’t want anything to happen, but I don’t like what my dad is doing. What do I do?
– Just 14, and stuck in the middle
A: It is not your responsibility to report to your mother about your father’s looking at these magazines. It is very likely she knows of his interest in sex magazines.
Tell your dad that it makes you uncomfortable when you are out together and he stops to look at these kinds of magazines. It is his responsibility to keep his interests to himself.
Write Cathleen Brown care of The Denver Post, 1560 Broadway, Denver, CO 80202 or CABrown500@yahoo.com.
