Q: Dear Scott,
Thank you for taking my question. I ended a 12-year relationship in late August, and have had a hard time. I am taking my time and have started going out on dates (not dating).
Here is the question: my former and I had a little Christmas together and one thing led to another and I stayed over. I made it clear that I was not coming back, but now I get the feeling (through calls 3 times a day) that there’s hope. Help me be the nice guy I am and kindly keep him as a friend.
Thank you,
– Pj in Denver
SCOTT: PJ, over isn’t over when you spend Christmas together and stay the night. That’s a mixed message if I’ve ever heard one!
Are you even sure it’s over?
Ending a long-term relationship is difficult, but the best way for you keep your good-guy image up is to avoid contradicting what you say with what you do. That’s cruel!
You need to be clearer with your message. It’s one thing to let someone down easy and be a friend, and quite another to continue sleeping together. If you’re really ready to end it, do it with class and style, and not partially.