Dear Amy: My on-and-off boyfriend of three years started a “MySpace” account five months ago. He is in a band, so the idea made sense for networking and promotion. Then he started waking up and immediately logging on. He had a slew of women he chatted with all day.
He met a woman who posted every thought that entered her head and every conversation she had into a blog – and I was able to follow and track the progress of his relationship – because it was all posted.
Of course, he and I are no longer seeing each other because I was devastated by the number and the depth of the lies he was telling me about his relationship with this woman – even though each time he lied she would end up confirming what he had denied in her blog. Most important, I was unhappy with who I had become – this insane voyeur logging onto MySpace each day to check up on my boyfriend.
This woman provided details about conversations with co-workers, details about her friends’ personal lives, children and families – even details about my ex-boyfriend’s grandmother. I watch her site to make sure I don’t appear as a topic.
– MySpaced Out
Dear Out: For those who don’t know, MySpace.com is an online “community” of people who post their photos and life stories, build “friendships” and blog their days away. (A blog is an online diary.) The Blog Herald says there are more than 70 million blogs.
As your letter points out, the virtues of life on the Web are also its deficits. People can easily meet and develop relationships, but the problem with developing relationships with strangers is that strangers have no reason to respect your privacy. Your story is yet another reason why life online has become not only messy but also boring. People who live a virtual life don’t have actual experiences. Their blogs tend to reflect that.
I can’t understand why people are so hungry to share their every waking thought with the world – and I certainly don’t understand why people are interested in reading them.
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Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for two years. He has a 22-year-old daughter who lives with her boyfriend. They became engaged this year. She has two children by other men.
My husband’s daughter always wants her father to pay for everything. She has asked her father to pay for her wedding. I would like to know if he is supposed to pay for a white wedding with all the trimmings? She has said she wants a big reception with an open bar.
My husband is in bad debt, but he would try to borrow the money because his kids have always expected him to give.
– Worried
Dear Worried: Your stepdaughter is doing the “Daddy shakedown,” and your husband needs to say no to white weddings with open bars.
In my view, couples should finance their own weddings.
Meanwhile, you and your husband desperately need financial counseling. If he is already in debt and can’t resist his daughter’s demands, it doesn’t bode well for your financial future together. His debt could ruin your own credit and bury you both in unpaid bills.
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Dear Amy: A letter in your column mentioned a woman going through the garbage at home. I have a possible explanation.
Over 20 years of marriage, I have fished the following out of the garbage: my husband’s wallet, the ATM card, our tax refund check, unpaid credit card bills, his car keys, a computer password security card from his job and our credit report.
Is it any wonder I pick through the garbage?
– Another Garbage Checker
Dear Checker: In this age of identity theft, your husband’s carelessness could spell major security problems. In this case, your garbage picking is definitely a good thing.
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