Arapahoe County – The Whizzinator looks remarkably like the real thing and is designed specifically to fool officials monitoring urine tests.
But Steven Whitcomb of the Colorado-based Wiz-Quiz drug-screening firm says he can always spot the fake urinating device, despite its realistic prosthesis.
“First thing I do is start laughing,” he said, holding up a Whizzinator for a gathering of about 20 lawyers and judges in an Arapahoe County courtroom Wednesday during a training session called “Whoops – Your Whizzinator Is Showing.”
The seminar on drug screening focused on the intricacies of urine testing, which has become an important facet of today’s criminal justice system. From drug court to family court, judges increasingly rely on results from urine tests to determine whether people are staying off drugs and alcohol.
Traces of drugs found in urine can send a person to jail or keep their children in foster care. Literally thousands of tests are ordered statewide, with gallons of urine inspected every day.
Wiz-Quiz, a private firm that contracts with courts and probation offices, has done tens of thousands of tests since 1999.
Wednesday’s session was a part of Magistrate Clarisse Gonzales’ free, continuing legal education program, which helps attorneys accumulate the required 45 hours of training over three years. Gonzales brings in guest lecturers to discuss legal matters.
Whitcomb, a certified professional collector, led the session, refuting popular myths and revealing efforts to foil urine tests. One myth is that marijuana traces stay in the system for 30 days or more. Wrong, Whitcomb said; it’s about one to two weeks.
Most people are honest with their tests, he said, but roughly 10 percent try to beat the system.
People buy products to add to their drinking water with hopes of diluting evidence of drugs. Whitcomb says the products are unnecessary because such dilution can be obtained with a six-pack of cola. However, courts may fail drug screens if the results are too diluted. And some judges may order more expensive hair tests instead. Those show drug use over a three-month period and can’t be foiled – short of shearing the head.
The most common tricks used are small, hidden bottles of donor urine or the aforementioned Whizzinator. Those attempts are easy to spot, said Whitcomb, who has seen everything – literally. He and other collectors stand a few feet away from the urinator and watch.
“There are a lot of telltale signs … ” he said. “I always know.”
Wiz-Quiz, with eight facilities in the metro region, also screens workers, students, recovering addicts and children of suspicious parents.
Family testing has become more popular, he said. Wiz-Quiz offers a home kit for parents who want to test their children.
Whitcomb said the fear of being tested will cut kids’ drug use. It’s not a bad idea, said Magistrate Gonzales.
“I see that as doing them a favor,” she said. “If they know in the back of their mind that they could be tested, it’s a deterrent. I don’t buy the trust argument. Once a kid gets addicted by drugs, it ruins them forever. You can always deal with the trust issues later.”
Staff writer Jeremy Meyer may be reached at 303-820-1175 or jpmeyer@denverpost.com.
