Thursday, Feb. 16
5 p.m. “Patient 14”
After an experimental operation to restore her hearing, a deaf woman can hear other people’s thoughts. It turns out most people are thinking something along the lines of “How did I get stuck in a sappy Lifetime movie.” (2004) Lifetime
7 p.m. “Winter Olympics”
Coverage tonight includes men speed-skating in Lycra so tight you can tell what they’re thinking. NBC
7 p.m. “Everybody Hates Chris”
Chris’s prowess at Asteroids is questioned. Warning: younger viewers not familiar with primitive video game technology may find some content shocking. UPN
8 p.m. “Deadly Arts”
A look at the Brazilian martial art of capoeira. It’s like other martial arts but set to music. Detractors say it’s impractical to have to change into a sequined outfit every time you get in a fight. Fit TV
8:30 p.m. “The Shop”
MTV’s newest reality show is set. Like all MTV shows, the reality is debatable. Busta Rhymes and Diddy get their hair cut here. MTV
9 p.m. “Night of the Creeps”
A fraternity prank unleashes slug-like creatures on a college campus. At our school, we called this “Saturday night.” (1986) Sci Fi Channel