Thursday, March 16
5 p.m. “College Basketball”
The annual tournament starts with 64 teams but in the end, only one remains. Many viewers do the same thing in half the time, but with beers. CBS
5 p.m. “Alien Abduction”
Experts debate the alien abduction phenomenon attributing the reports to sleep paralysis, dream psychosis, emotional stress and too many Star Trek conventions. Discovery Channel
6 p.m. “And You Don’t Stop”
This series looks back at the history of hip hop going back to the early days, before your nephew in Des Moines bought his first pair of baggy jeans. VH1
6 p.m. “The Complete Guide to Beach Style”
A guide to beach attire includes segments on safe tanning, bikini accessories, stylish sunglasses and new legislations banning the sale of thongs in sizes XXL and above. Travel Channel
6 p.m. “Quints by Surrogacy”
A surrogate mother gives birth to quintuplets raising issues of fertility ethics, parenting rights, health risks and calculating an appropriate Christmas bonus. Discovery Health Channel
7 p.m. “American Inventor”
A new reality show gives amateur inventors a chance to bring their creations to market. This could be your big chance to get your wireless-enabled mobile litter box test marketed. ABC
9:30 p.m. “Leprechaun”
A horrific leprechaun goes on a gruesome killing spree to retrieve a coveted pot of gold. But that’s not the scary part. You also get to see Jennifer Anniston’s pre-“Friends” nose. Sci-Fi Channel
10:35 p.m. “The Tonight Show”
Herb Alpert is re-releasing his classic “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” album with remixes from a variety of younger performers, because what we really need is a dance mix album from a 71-year-old. NBC