A follow-up to “”:
Q: Dear Scott,
Oh, if only the answer was that simple. Feeling good about yourself doesn’t equal getting dates.
I too tried match.com, yahoo singles, Harmony, etc. I was not getting any replies to my invitations to chat if I was honest and described myself as overweight.
I did a little experiment and when I described myself as “thin, athletic, or weight appropriate for height” I had lots of men responding.
I have an acquaintance who is overweight and online. He gets lots of women to chat by saying he is “muscular,” none if he says “overweight.”
He doesn’t answer ads for women who say they are overweight. I asked him why, and he just says “that’s not what I am attracted to.”
It comes down to weight being a big barrier to meeting people. The less people who will consider you in a romantic way, the less chance you have of finding that special someone.
Signed,
– Been there and now realistic
SCOTT: Hey, I’m all about realism, so let’s be realistic together.
No, feeling good about yourself alone may not get you dates but it certainly does help.
Forget about the weight thing for a second and take your pick between an insecure person and a confident one. Which one would you choose?
Yes! Good answer!
What could’ve been wrong with your online dating approach was that you were describing yourself as overweight, therefore making it an issue. That alone might turn someone off to wanting to meet as opposed to if you had described yourself in other ways.
I’m not saying lie and say you’re a Barbie doll or supermodel, but think of your online dating profile as a resume, center on your positive attributes and include a photo so the person can see that you’re overweight and it may not be such an issue.
Some people don’t care about weight and will be attracted to something else about you.
Being realistic is not comparing the attention you get to that of skinny girls. Of course they’re going to get the most action, just like the muscular guys will get more of a response than overweight ones or even skinny ones for that matter.
Describe your positive attributes, like “fun,” “bright,” “sexy,” “confident,” etc. and you’ll generate interest. No, not as much as a skinny model, but there really is someone for everyone and in the world of singles, confidence speaks volumes.