Q: Scott,
I’m not usually the type to ask for love advice, but my situation is driving me crazy! I’ve been with a great woman for about seven months now. Our physical relationship is incredible, and most of the time we enjoy each other’s company.
We are both stubborn and when we fight, which has been pretty often lately. Both of us get hurt and then want to make up an hour later.
I actually ended things for a week in early December, taking time to go up to the mountains and figure out if we were right for each other. I came back to the city and begged for her back, and she took me back right away.
Lately we have broken up yet again and she is still upset over the “December Incident.” I love her so much, and I know she loves me, but it is possible that we aren’t right for each other at this point in our lives.
We are taking a break now (her choice) and I want her back, but am I being crazy by thinking that this could work? On one hand I think that we love each other enough to work things out, but it seems like we can’t have an argument like adults.
It always devolves into childishness, and I’m frustrated by everything lately. Please help me, I am so freaking confused!
– Lost in love
SCOTT: Why so fatalistic?
You’re one of those couples that breaks-up every time you have a disagreement. You probably forget what the argument was even about half the time.
Not everything has to be so dramatic and result in a parting of ways, so when you decide to get back together this time, that’s what needs to change going forward.
Agree to disagree. There’ll always be disagreements and problems in relationships, but the key to success depends on how and if they are worked out.
The issues in your relationship remain unresolved because you resort to the easier short-term solution of breaking up every time, only to get back together without resolving the conflict.
It’s a vicious circle but someone has to break it. Why not you?