The NHL playoffs make up the most testing postseason in professional sports. They’re also the best.
Lest that is written off as coming from a hockey chauvinist, I’ve sat through a World Series earthquake, been at courtside when Michael Jordan threw up his hands during a breathtaking NBA Finals game against Portland, and been to more Super Bowls than I care to remember.
Here are some of the reasons the NHL playoffs are at the top of the list:
* The Stanley Cup itself. No other trophy has such magic, both as a lure and a symbol. The next major sequel in theaters should be, “Monty Python and the Stanley Cup.” After all, a Brit left behind the trophy as his parting gift to the Dominion of Canada.
* The every-other-night relentlessness, combined with the physical and mental toll, brings out the best in individuals and teams … and, sometimes, the worst.
* No Tim McCarver, Bill Walton or Joe Theismann.
* An unlikely goalie can stand on his head, become hot, get into opponents’ heads and lead a team to at least the verge of the Cup. In other words, upsets are commonplace, not shocking.
* Playoff beards.
* Sudden-death overtime, meaning the game could end any second. Also, as hard as this is to believe, it even could last as long and end as late as a nine-inning World Series game.
* Traveling never is called in the NHL postseason, either. But it’s not supposed to be.
* Long playoff runs in “nontraditional markets” can convert new fans. Canadians think this is bad. It isn’t, except perhaps when television anchors and even sportscasters, who have been in their markets about two weeks and never have seen a hockey game in person, try to lead cheers on the air.
* “O, Canada.”
* The paranoia about injury disclosure is silly, but so ridiculous that it almost becomes part of the entertainment.
* Most players give it 100 percent in the quest for the Cup … and Peter Forsberg once gave his spleen.
* Each team gets to call only one timeout, and they aren’t called on every change of possession in the final two minutes.
* Players can be eloquent, reflective and boring in talking about the postseason pressures – often in the same conversation. Pay close enough attention, and you could learn how to say “one game at a time” and “backs to the wall” in 19 languages.
* The NHL guarantees a division champion not only at least the No. 3 conference seed, but also the home advantage against teams 4 and lower. Gee, if you don’t do that, why even guarantee a division winner at least the No. 3 seed? Wouldn’t having a No. 3 seed without the home court against the No. 6 seed be ridiculous?
* The ritual handshake line at the end of each series. The Dino Ciccarelli rule is in effect: Even if you can’t believe later that you shook an opponent’s hand, you still do it.
