I'm not much fun in a hotel room.
First I lock the windows. Then I memorize the location of the nearest fire exit. Then I check for bedbugs.
But what's really great is that I've trained my 8-year-old to do the Hotel Safety Drill too.
The last time we checked into a hotel, before we even put our bags down, my son ran into the bathroom–and not because he had to use the toilet.
"Mommy, all clear," he reported. "There's no window in there."
My heart swelled with maternal pride.
Ever since a friend was robbed by an intruder who came in through the hotel bathroom window, I've become obsessed with locking hotel windows. My friend slept through the robbery, but the shoe prints in the bathroom explained why her purse was missing when she woke up. I also double-lock the door to the room–although sometimes my son beats me to it–rather than just letting it slam-lock behind me.
Fire safety is a biggie as well. One of my favorite Web sites on the subject is written by a guy who identifies himself as "Detective Kevin Coffey, founder of Corporate Travel Safety."
Kevin is a man after my own heart. "Before I hang up my clothes or plop down to relax, I familiarize myself with the locations of the fire exits nearest my room," he writes. "I try to imagine how I would find my way to the nearest fire exit in the dark while crawling on my hands and knees. I count the doorways between me and the fire exit and note any obstacles that could get in my way."
He then opens the fire exit, noting that "if the door is alarmed, I first notify the hotel security department of my intention to open the door."
OK, I'll admit, I have not gone so far as to call the front desk and say, "Hi, if you hear an alarm from the fire door on my floor, don't worry, I'm just checking the exit!"
But I admire Kevin's bold determination, and I do at least look for the exits. Once again, my son is my faithful companion in this regard, happily scoping out the hallway like a Rottweiler on the trail of a red neon EXIT sign. When we're back in our room, I shut the door and we quiz each other: Which direction would you head down the hallway in case of fire?
Hotel beds are another worry. First thing, remove those nasty comforters–you know they don't wash them every night and who knows what the last guests were doing on top of the bed before they turned the sheets down. We also try to bring pillows from home.
I've never encountered a bedbug, but I've become strangely addicted to searching TripAdvisor.com's hotel reviews for bedbug stories. I even attended a lecture by an entomologist on the subject. He stayed in a nice hotel the night before his talk, but said the first thing he did there was to look for signs of bedbugs. (He didn't find any.)
Tricky thing is, the critters don't become active until you're fast asleep, and most people don't realize they've been bitten until the morning.
But it never hurts to look before turning in. Bedbugs love crevices, so inspect the headboards. A line of tiny brown-gray specks on the mattress could also be evidence of their bites.
Of course, lifting up the sheets to look at the mattress could unleash a cloud of dust mites.
But let's not go there.
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This week's advice: When staying in hotels, memorize the location of the nearest fire exit; more hotel fire safety advice at . Inspect mattresses and headboards for bedbugs; a telltale sign is a line of brown-gray specks on bedding.
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