I could have gone to brunch last Saturday – but for the granite guy. A business friend of my husband’s was in town and had stayed the night at our home. To thank us, he wanted to take the family to brunch.
“Oh, we’d love that!” I said, then felt that familiar snag in my life: remodeling.
“But, the granite guy’s coming.” Rats. Remodeling is so inconvenient. What’s worse than the dust, noise, boot tracks, bad radio music, expense, marital arguments, material delays and other glitches? Waiting around for workers. I’d set up this appointment a week earlier, because Scott, the granite guy, said he preferred to do estimates on weekends as he was on jobs during the week. Fine. I cooked breakfast and tried not to be grumpy, even though no one ever takes me to brunch. At 9:45 a.m., we’re lingering over coffee and I wonder aloud, “Where’s that granite guy?”
“Must be something terribly awful,” my husband’s friend says dryly, “because you know how reliable those people are.”
I let this sink in and feed fury’s slow flame. A few minutes before 10 a.m., while I’m washing breakfast dishes, which I wouldn’t be doing if I’d gone to brunch, Scott calls. He’s not coming. He says something about one of his workers not showing up, and now he has to cover that job. Blah, blah, blah. I fight the urge to call him a feckless, drifting scoundrel and stay civil. I obviously need him more than he needs me, which is how most contractors manage to make their clients feel.
“How about tomorrow?” I suggest.
“Well, it’s my sister’s birthday. We’re going to brunch.”
“Brunch! How nice,” I say, and roll my eyes to the folks in my kitchen. “Is that an all-day affair?”
“I do like a little family time.”
“You’re the one who said you like to do estimates on weekends,” I say. My voice now has the pitch of a power saw. “I’m trying to accommodate you!” By now, the people in my kitchen are worried.
Fortunately, technology won’t allow me to jump through the phone and bang him on the head. I remind myself that the last time I was looking for a granite guy, Scott was the only one who came through after a half-dozen others flaked out. And Scott isn’t the first contractor to stand me up. He’s just the most recent in a long line of workers who apparently have so many jobs and such a surplus of money that they don’t need work. I think back to my guest’s wry comment: “You know how reliable these people are.”
So I asked him, “Where do all these workers go when they don’t show up?”
“Barbados,” our friend said. “I’ve seen them there.”
Now before all you responsible, hard-working contractors (or your spouses) write me, please realize, I know how it feels to be hard working and reliable, and to see your profession maligned because a few in your trade don’t share your ethics. But remember, I’m a journalist. This tirade is not aimed at reliable workers. As for the rest of you (Scott!), on behalf of all of us who have dealt with flaky contractors, I offer this demand:
You owe me brunch. In Barbados.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in the Denver area. Contact her through her website, marnijameson.com.
What remodeling customers really want
If you’re a contractor who’s too busy to do the job, say so.
If the job’s too small, say so. Then refer the client to someone who takes on smaller jobs.
Keep your appointments, and be on time. Call if you’re running late. Don’t call the hour you’re supposed to be there to say you’re not coming.
Wipe your feet.
Be responsive. Have the estimate finished within 48 hours, or call to explain the delay and when you’ll have the estimate.
Communicate. Tell clients what work has to be done, and when, before you start. That way, we can be ready.
Check your messages. Often.
Impress us. You could be the best in the world at what you do, but you’ve got to come through on the little stuff – timeliness, professionalism and a work ethic that projects competence.
