Everyone loves a little pampering, but some women need it more than others. That became clear as we sorted through piles of nominations for a spa relaxation package that was one of six makeovers we arranged for Denver Post readers.
We discovered two categories of women who most need a break: mothers with young children, and those who are caregivers for elderly parents, sick spouses or ailing children.
Both types of women spend their days and nights caring for others instead of tending to their own needs.
We heard from women juggling jobs, families and responsibility for shut-in relatives, and from those who treasure their roles as parents but long for an occasional afternoon off. Some women never have indulged in a facial or massage; others just don’t have the time.
Because we had trouble choosing just one woman for the makeover, the Spa at the Brown Palace donated two $270 Relax Packages for our candidates. We got to break the good news to Wendy Berhman, the mother of 8-month old twins, and Sandra Roberts, who spent a year and a half in intensive caregiving while her husband battled multiple myeloma.
Here are their stories:
Lives take a drastic change
Berhman, 39, and her husband Dan Reimer knew early in Wendy’s pregnancy she’d be having twins, but nothing fully prepared them for the changes their lives would take last Aug. 10 when Ellie and Jacob were born.
With both of their families living on the East Coast, it was up to Wendy and Dan to tend to the newborns. The first few months, she said, were “a blur of crying, sleepless nights and endless feedings and diapering.
“Each day now brings new experiences and never-ending joy, but each day also ends in exhaustion,” she acknowledged in her application for the spa package.
“There is virtually no time left for myself since I have taken on this role, and I find myself dreaming of having just a few minutes to recharge my batteries and take some time to reflect on the blessing of twins.”
Berhman returned to work two days a week in February at the National Park Service, where she is an environmental manager. She has a babysitter on those days, but her husband is an environmental lawyer and travels frequently.
“I have a whole new respect for single parents,” she said.
Ellie and Jacob, meanwhile, seem to have a sixth sense for knowing when the other one needs to be fed or changed, she said. One will wake up and start crying and the other will join in.
Berhman said well-meaning friends have told her to try to get the twins on a schedule, but she realizes it’s impossible at the moment.
What she was able to schedule was a morning at the Spa at the Brown Palace, where she enjoyed a Swedish massage from Ida Sandoval, followed by a facial and body wrap.
“It was the first time in the past eight months that I could totally relax and take a deep breath,” she said afterward. “I have never had a mud wrap, and I found myself so relaxed, I fell asleep.” After the treatments, she hit the steam room. Next she nibbled on a grilled vegetable sandwich and sipped strawberry mint juice.
Too soon, it was time to go.
“They offered to wash and blow dry my hair, but I had to run home before our sitter left,” Berhman said.
Whole family devastated
Jada Roberts said it devastated the whole family when her father got bone marrow cancer, but it was her mother who showed the most strength throughout the ordeal. Bill Roberts spent 19 years as a Denver city councilman, and was director of public works and deputy mayor before entering semi-retirement in the 1990s. He was diagnosed with cancer in the summer of 2004 and died last December.
“What I witnessed was my mother’s unshakable, infallible love for the man she married over 30 years prior, as she went with him to every doctor’s appointment, asked the tough questions,” Jada Roberts said, noting her mother also “held our hands, the kids, as we tried to understand what was affecting our father.”
Sandra Roberts shrugs off her sacrifices. “You just put your needs on hold. That’s what I had to do. I have no regrets about it.”
She is slowly returning to her volunteer work with The Links Inc. and Delta Sigma Theta, walks 5 miles per day, attends her book club meetings and attends Denver Nuggets games.
The visit to the Spa at the Brown Palace, she said, was a rare opportunity to unwind and relax. “I like a good massage and facial,” Roberts said when she arrived at the spa.
Aesthetician Shai Albright cleansed her face, applied a hydrating mask, massaged her neck, shoulders and arms and encouraged Roberts to breathe deeply and enjoy the moment.
The massage and mud wrap that followed further lifted her cares.
“This,” she said, “is a little piece of heaven.”
More online: Tips on maximizing your spa visit. denverpost.com/style
Staff writer Suzanne S. Brown can be reached at 303-820-1697 or sbrown@denverpost.com.
