We often hear stories of triumph in the face of tragedy. Those same stories are infinitely more powerful when the wealth of triumph is spread among others, and used to create a string of victories.
Such was the action of Lisa Delman. Devastated by her mother’s near-fatal heart attack in 1998, Delman pondered the inevitable, “I was very distraught, driving to the hospital thinking, ‘what if I’m never able to speak to my mother again?’ and realizing that this could be it,” she says, “the fact that she might pass away was at that moment where all these emotions came up.”
As Delman’s mother lay in a coma, Delman sprang into motion. “I decided to write letters to her telling her my profound appreciation,” she says. Delman wrote passages to her mother, expressing deep emotion she’d never relayed in person. “Maybe I thought (these things) during the time that she was healthy and when I was growing up, but I never said it. I kind of took her for granted.”
Soon after Delman started writing the letters, her mother miraculously emerged from her coma and Delman was blessed with the opportunity to share her letters as mom recovered.
“There was an incredible energy and exchange between my mother and I. Not a lot of words were said but (the letters were) something that she needed to hear and something I needed to say, so there was a deeper appreciation for the relationship.”
As others read Delman’s heartfelt letters to her mom, she saw a profound need for women to express their feelings, and saw the deep connection mothers and daughters inherently possess.
To create an outlet for these pent up emotions, she began “Letters From the Heart Project,” which is dedicated to creating a global network of products that provide freedom of expression and heart-to-heart connection.
The Project launched as a website, theheartproject.com, and culminated in the book “Dear Mom, I’ve Always Wanted You to Know, Daughters Share Letters from the Heart” (Perigree book, Penguin Group, April 2005). The book includes many of the 1,000 letters received from around the world in which women spoke to their mothers – alive or deceased – using the written word.
“None of us are immune to life’s challenges,” says Delman, who left her 15-year marketing career to pursue the Heart Project. “The Journey of writing a letter guides us to converse with our souls and deepen our hearts. It uncovers our true voices and our unique perspectives on how we view the world.”
Many women who participated in the Heart Project by contributing letters written to their mothers did not actually deliver the correspondence. Often, just the process was liberating enough to release whatever emotion needed to be expressed.
According to Delman, this was especially helpful for women whose mothers had died, conveying their emotions on paper provided a freedom the women could not access before writing their letters.
With Mothers’ Day approaching, Delman points out that Dear Mom is a gift men can give to the many moms in their lives. “It’s a great Mothers’ Day gift for all women because all daughters are women, and for the men, their mothers are daughters,” she said, adding that men often are at a loss for something heartfelt to give on Mother’s Day.
Buy the book:
“Dear Mom” is available online at Amazon.com, and at booksellers nationwide. It retails for $16.95.
Doni Luckett is chief executive of Divine-Basics.com, which produces lifestyle products to reconnect with moments that matter. Your questions may be addressed in the column by e-mailing enrichyourlife enrichyourlife@divine-basics.com.
Opening a dialogue
In an effort to continue dialogue between mothers and daughters, Lisa Delman offers a number of actions women can take to reconnect, and strengthen their bonds:
Honor yourself
Reconnect to your heart
Create a desired outcome
Honestly express your feelings
Appreciate all of the memories
Explore different perspectives
Focus on the generations
Step beyond stereotypical expectations
Make challenges into gifts
Capture the moment
For more information on how you can connect, visit theheartproject.com.
