Our family lived for nearly a year in Mexico near Ixtapa, in the resort town of Zihuatanejo, where there is a large colony of Canadian and U.S. expatriates. Attitudes toward parental supervision were among many differences between life there and life in the states.
The middle-class families whose children attended the private school where mine went were highly protective when traveling to and from school. Guerrero state, where Zihuatanejo is located, is a Mexican kidnapping capital, and the kids from our school were always watched closely.
But my kids' less-well-off Mexican friends were definitely more independent than American children. As soon as we would get to a friend's house in a poor neighborhood, all the kids would take off down the street, usually to go buy little bags of chili candies or soda at the store. They'd gather a pack of gawkers because my little blondies were in their midst.
The Mexican kids' parents paid no attention at all when the children took off like that. But my husband or I always trailed discreetly behind, keeping an eye on things, and our friends did think that was weird. We saw men lounging everywhere under trees and awnings; though our friends had probably know them for a lifetime, to us, they were strangers.
People we didn't know also thought nothing of inviting the kids into their homes–without asking us–or handing them food or soda–something that obviously never happens here. I felt it would be rude to say, "Could you stop buying my child candy?" so I didn't. But it seemed a bit presumptuous to me.
Mothers at my daughter's school–and total strangers at the beach, come to think of it–sometimes put makeup on her and styled her hair. And people at the beach would engage my son in a soccer game that could take him half-mile away, yet they were surprised to see me lurking in the shade of the palms, watching.
But there were other differences in how children are raised that had nothing to do with safety. My expat friends and I marveled at how independent Mexican kids are. How do those mothers get their 6-years-olds to wake up on time, put on their school uniform correctly, eat breakfast, and walk to school alone, when our kids had to be prompted every single step of the way? We tormented ourselves with these questions, but never found an answer. I mean, these were mothers who had left for work at the tortilla factory at 5 a.m. or hadn't even bothered to get out of bed to rouse their kid. We're back in the states now, and the kids I know–including mine–still need to be reminded to brush their hair and teeth, find their shoes, and put their homework in their backpacks.
