At a grief support group for friends and relatives struggling to cope with a loved one’s death last March, one woman nearly burst with her frustration at a world that seemed indifferent to her sorrow.
“I wish there was a way that I could do something, or wear something, that would let this person know that I am a person who is grieving,” said the woman, after telling about her encounter that day with a rude sales clerk.
“I’ve lost both my husband and son, and I’m just trying to get by, day to day.”
Her despair caught the imagination of group leader Jennifer McBride, who has spent the past 11 years working with bereaved families. She came up with a black wristband inspired by the yellow “LiveStrong” wristbands popularized by champion cyclist and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong. His LiveStrong Foundation sells the wristbands to raise money for cancer research.
“When you think about it, throughout human history, we did have rituals and objects for the grieving,” said McBride, executive director of HeartLight Center, a bereavement support and education organization. “In Victorian times, there were widow’s weeds, and memorial jewelry people wore to let society know they were bereaved. Police and firefighters wear black bands over their badges. We’ve seen T-shirts, and things like dog tags with a laser photo engraving. But those things are expensive.”
In contrast, silicone wristbands are inexpensive to produce and sell. McBride designed black silicone bracelets with “REMEMBER” in white. They sell for $2 at HeartLight Center, 11150 Dartmouth Ave., and at Horan & McConaty funeral homes throughout the metro area.
The response from the HeartLight Center’s grief support groups was instant and enthusiastic. At last week’s Baby Boomer Widow/Widower support group, participants mobbed the center’s intern as soon as she opened the box of wristbands.
“I am personally shocked at the response,” said HeartLight Center facilitator Rachel Kodanaz, who initially was skeptical of McBride’s idea.
Connie Robinson, one of the founders of the widowed baby boomer group, began wearing her wristband last week. Friends who knew about her husband’s death seemed to know what it meant. Another friend asked about it, and then asked Robinson to share a story about her husband.
Others with similar stories reassured Kodanaz, who worried that LiveStrong wristbands and their many imitators – from pink bands that raise money for breast-cancer research to multi-hued bands depicting each of the seven deadly sins – already glutted the market.
“But as soon as our intern showed the wristband to the Baby Boomers, they were like, ‘We want this! And we want 5 more,”‘ said Kodanaz.
Staff writer Claire Martin can be reached at 303-820-1477 or cmartin@denverpost.com.
