Roswell, Ga. – A host of family members and friends remembered Patsy Ramsey on Thursday, choosing to focus on her deep faith and love of family rather than the frenzy over the mysterious death of her daughter, JonBenét.
During Patsy Ramsey’s funeral services inside the United Methodist Church, there was relief from the allegations that shadowed Patsy and her husband, John, after 6-year-old JonBenét was found dead in their Boulder home almost 10 years ago.
The 45-minute service was subdued and deeply religious, attended by more than 200 people who loved and knew Patsy best. Many of the women wore dress hats, a tribute to Patsy and her love of hats.
It was, as close friend Susie Carter said earlier in the week, Patsy’s turn to shine. “Patsy deserves to shine,” Carter said.
Those who spoke and those who listened embraced the Patsy they knew, and in so doing took back a little bit of her story for themselves.
Before the service, two large screens showed a video slide show of Patsy. It began with black-and-white photos from when she was a dimple-cheeked baby and progressed through her childhood and her time as Miss West Virginia.
One segment was devoted to her romance with John, including a photo of them rowing a canoe across a lake, with Patsy up front, paddle slicing into the water, and John in the back, paddle on his lap, looking at the camera. Another segment focused on pictures of Patsy with Burke, her son, and JonBenét.
The slide show concluded with a flourish of pictures, as James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” played in the background. On the last slide were the words, “Patsy, here’s to 50 years of beautiful. We love you.”
The service could not entirely escape the shadow of JonBenét’s death and the publicity that followed. Outside the church were a handful of television trucks and about two dozen media members, who were restricted to the parking lot. A policeman walked through rows of cars of funeral attendees, taking pictures of their license plates.
No one from the Ramsey family spoke during the service, which was attended by John Ramsey and Burke, 19, as well as several other relatives.
A pastor read two letters from family acquaintances. One, from a Bible study teacher, directly addressed JonBenét’s death and the ensuing turmoil surrounding the family
“I watched your lives after the tragedy of JonBenét’s death and the horror of Patsy being falsely accused,” the letter read. “I watched the three of you … walk through the furnace of fire and come out not smelling like smoke.”
Another letter was written by a man who met Patsy briefly in 1977, while he was a Navy medic stationed in Okinawa and she was on a Miss America tour.
“She was as warm, earthy and unpretentious a woman as I have ever had the privilege of knowing,” the pastor read from the letter. “Thirty years in the wake of my military duty on Okinawa, I am proud to say that I served for people like Patsy.”
The Rev. Nancy Folsom relayed stories Patsy’s family had told of her, of her kindness and her faith and her occasional driving misadventures, including once accidentally backing her 1969 Mustang into her family’s station wagon.
In one story, Patsy gathered her family to cook a meal for the poor at a soup kitchen. When all the soup was gone and Patsy feared that some were still hungry, Folsom said, she scrounged for more ingredients and made another meal.
In another, Patsy, who died of ovarian cancer, bought clothes and book bags and Christmas gifts for children who lost their mother to cancer.
“Patsy knew that we are called by God to live a life not measured by our name or what gets out there about us,” Folsom said, “but rather to live a life that is measured by love, faith and compassion.”
Patsy left a successful career in technical writing when her children were born, Folsom said. “Overheard at a party, Patsy was asked what she did,” Folsom recounted. “She told them she invested in futures, meaning the lives of her children.”
After the funeral, the attendees processed to the St. James Episcopal Cemetery in neighboring Marietta. There, they gathered around Patsy’s freshly dug grave site and the grave site of JonBenét.
They released balloons and shared hugs. And when the service ended, they left almost reluctantly, leaving mother and daughter to lie side by side, without fanfare or attention.
“We can say without a doubt,” Folsom said back at the church, “that Patsy has been welcomed home with the words, ‘Well done, faithful servant.”‘
Staff writer John Ingold can be reached at 720-929-0898 or jingold@denverpost.com.
