At some point last week, my neighborhood was unilaterally invaded by a herd of rather peculiar cows.
It should go without saying that the trespassers were fiberglass cows, as they possess a far higher intellect than ordinary bovine.
In any event, one of my neighbors is now a cow with wings. Another, a cow with plastic scuba gear strapped on. A cow with daisies. A cow decorated with chili peppers … and so on.
Though I’ve been accused of being a curmudgeon on occasion, I still couldn’t help asking some local folks – gingerly: Are we really supposed to consider these cows art because they seem like glorified playground equipment? Can’t the kids just climb on them?
What a brute! Art is subjective. Anything can be considered art. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.
Anything? Even those fiberglass cows sporting corporate logos?
No, not those, you lout. Corporate logos cannot be considered art unless they are used in irony or protest.
I had to explain that my mild antagonism towards the CowParade wasn’t sparked by the fact that it’s hopelessly cheesy. Though it is.
It’s not that decorating the cows doesn’t take a high level of skill and creativity. I’m sure it does.
Nor is it that these cows aren’t fun to look at. They certainly are. It’s not even the endless puns – moo-seum, It’s Your Moove, Jacques MOOsteau. I have no beef with that.
What bothers me is that neighbors, friends, city officials and various little people who live in my house and steal my food consider these funny cows to be some great artistic achievement.
“Art is about breaking down barriers,” Peter Hanig, a CowParade event organizer, is quoted as saying. “It gets people to feel, to think, to react.
“So when you come across life-sized cow sculptures that have been covered in mirrors or gumdrops, cows that have been painted with elaborate themes or transformed into something else entirely, you can’t help but stop and think about what it means.”
You wanna bet?
Gumdrops, like cows, are meant to be eaten, not pondered.
Julie Puma is a superbly talented local artist. Disclosure: A painting of hers – one that occasionally induces me to wake up in a cold sweat – hangs on my wall.
“I walked by one today, and I didn’t even really look at it,” she says. “I just walked right by it. But if this sort of project helps fund and generate more interest in art, that’s fine.”
Obviously, we take complaints from artists with a grain of salt. Like all of us, they are serious about their work, and the thought of hundreds of amateurs decorating prefabricated cows can’t sit well.
Still, Puma believes that the city of Denver could do more “public art that is more intellectual and much more interesting.”
And she has a good point.
The fact that the CowParade has blossomed into a worldwide movement after its initial Zurich incarnation is no saving grace.
There are plenty of unreasonable ideas that proliferate out of control – think pet rocks or Scientology.
And there has been some backlash. In Sweden, radical artists kidnapped one of these fiberglass cows, held power drills to its head and threatened to “sacrifice” it unless the bovine structures were declared “non-art.”
Tragically, the cow was brutalized and then killed by her captors.
Of course, I do not advocate or condone any acts of terrorism or violence against fiberglass cows. Do not hurt the fiberglass cows, they are not yours.
And whatever you make of these sculptures, all the weird bovine will be auctioned in November with the proceeds going to charity.
We all love that.
(Visit denverpost.com/harsanyi.com for links to CowParade blogs, detailing the hard work that goes into these fiberglass cows. Are they art? I leave that to you.)
David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. Reach him at 303-820-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
