Q: Dear Scott – I’ve got a problem. I broke up with my first love over three years ago, and have yet to enter another serious relationship. She has, on the other hand, been seeing a guy for over two years. We broke up in college due to a long distance relationship. She was at CU, I was at CSU.
Now I live in Denver again and we have reconnected. We speak every once in a while, and recently, she started calling me more frequently. I am still in love with her, and I am sure she knows of my feelings. She refuses to see me in person, speaking only by phone. Why is my ex, in a supposedly “happy” relationship, still calling after three years? Why won’t she admit she has feelings for me? What can I do?
SCOTT: I wonder why she’s calling you, too. Is it for closure? Maybe. Is it because she misses you? More likely.
Most people who leave a relationship don’t hang on to the past, but for those of us who are having trouble moving on it’s a different story. Get yourself clear on exactly why she’s calling so often. Ask her the questions you asked me and share with her that you’d like to pick up where you left off.
Open the doors of communication and you’ll know where she’s at in the feelings department and if there’s still a chance.