Q: OK, I never thought I’d be saying this. But I truly don’t know what my purpose is in this world!
I know my main purpose is to parent my children and love my spouse. I will continue to do this, and my life revolves around everything they do. But occasionally I stop and ask myself, “What is my passion, and how do I find it?”
I became a mother at a very young age and never really had time to think about myself – and still don’t, with the demands of motherhood and job. But I’ve vowed to change this.
My husband has his career set out for him. He loves what he does and is good at it. Is it wrong to envy him? I work for a prestigious commercial real estate firm, but I know my passion isn’t sitting at a desk all day. I want to do something I love. I just can’t figure out what it is! Do you have any suggestions on where to get started?
Catherine: Being a devoted wife and mother is one of the most honorable and difficult callings. But if your entire life is based on sacrifice and denial, it seems a backlash is inevitable.
Being the person you are – with all your interests, passions and dislikes – is why your husband fell in love with you. Don’t let that person cease to exist. It will only improve your marriage and your relationship with your children to include everyone on your search to rekindle a sense of life passion.
I applaud your desire to ask the hard questions.
Lily: Boy, can I relate! We moms can easily lose ourselves in our everyday roles when we don’t make time for ourselves.
What interests you? What are your talents? Ever consult a career counselor? Try one and ask to take a test that will help map your skills and guide you toward potential professions.
Do not be afraid to try and try again. You wouldn’t give up on your family, so don’t give up on yourself. Keep a journal; this will help you mark your awesome journey. I wish you the best and remind you that you are your only speed bump.
Danny: By asking this question, you have done what any diligent mother/wife would do upon losing personal identity and individuality to family.
Your purpose in life, however, must be more than parenting and being a loving spouse. Purpose is what drives you at every level of human existence.
A truly defined purpose encompasses all that is you – emotionally, spiritually and physically. It is not wrong to feel envy if it drives your desire to better yourself.
Recall your fondest moments, the happier times that lighted the fire of desire within you. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and identifying some of these will provide purposeful clarity. Whatever your purpose, it must contribute to yourself, God, your family and society.
Consejos is a bilingual advice column focused on relationships, culture and identity. E-mail your questions or comments to consejos@dallasnews.com. Or send your letters to Consejos, care of Texas Living, The Dallas Morning News, 508 Young St., Dallas, TX 75202.
