Glamour, the women’s magazine, has published “The Man Issue,” so editor Cynthia Leive asked her husband, Howard Bernstein, who is an authentic man, to write her column.
He agreed. But, he writes, “she might not like what I have to say.”
He’s right.
“I’ve been reading her magazine and the competition for years,” he writes, “and frankly, the advice they often give readers makes no sense to me.”
Bernstein doesn’t like Glamour’s endless series of contradictory dieting tips:
“September: Fat’s bad for you! October: No, it’s not!
November: Only the bad fat’s bad for you!
December: Trans fats will eat your brain! Don’t be fooled: One cheeseburger won’t hurt you. Just don’t have six of them.”
Bernstein isn’t fond of Glamour’s endless exercise tips, either:
“Rolling on a ball? Strippercise? Celeb-o-boxing? On my flabby gut I swear: Stick with the old school and do a sit-up. Or a push-up.”
And he’s not enamored of Glamour’s fashion advice, either: “Stop dressing insanely.”
In fact, Bernstein’s sick of pretty much all of Glamour’s advice: “Stop improving!” he advises.
“Worried you’re less than perfect? Here’s the best advice I can give: Take a look at the man in your life and, trust me, you’ll feel great by comparison.”
Bernstein’s critique is right on the money. But if his wife followed his advice and got rid of all the dopey diet, exercise, fashion and self-improvement articles, there would be nothing left – except, of course, the dopey articles on 12 new ways to steam up your sex life.
Apparently, Bernstein has no beef with those. Maybe that’s why his wife puts up with him.
