Q: Hey Scott. I need your advice:
I have been working for a prominent Denver lawyer for about 1-1/2 years now. I am basically the office do-all gopher; everything from taking his car in for service to ordering his underwear online. I am very happy to have a job in the first place, with such a respected man, and I consistently receive compliments from the other office attorneys and our clients. But there are still some major pressing issues that are making me wonder if this is the place to stay.
First off, it is a very small office. As the youngest and newest hire, I am in a strictly-adhered-to place of being at the bottom of the totem pole. Thus, I am always called out on any tiny mistake I make. The things he chooses to literally yell at me about range from stealing from him (sunglasses, event tickets, even his underwear), taking excessive time off, (I have had one vacation in a year and maybe 5 sick days) and being tardy and leaving early (I have been coming and going at the same time since I was hired here, and leaving early to do office deliveries and deposits.).
I know where these accusations stem from. First, he is very old, and it is obvious to everyone here that he is not the same sharp mind he used to be. Second, there are two older women in the office who have been here longer than me, and therefore have “buddied” up in the office. My boss has told me that the two of them complain to him about my work, yet they tell me everything I do is great and fine.
Now, I have taken previous criticisms before with a grain of salt, but this last Friday something happened that made me question if I should walk out the door and not look back. My boss took the entire office out to lunch, and in a packed restaurant, after we had all just sat down, he said (loudly), out of the blue: “The only reason I have not fired you yet is because you are gay, and my brother is gay, and I respect you people, otherwise you would be gone.” Now everyone was there, and I found myself shocked and having to defend my work AGAIN, and now “being gay” to him, and the entire office. I am an “out “gay man, and it has NEVER been made an issue. I was extremely offended that he chose to bring it up, in public, and even though my co-workers spoke up in my defense, and we all ate lunch and went back to the office, it has sat with me all weekend, and I am now at an impasse as what I should do.
Do I stay here until he goes completely senile and retires? Do I put up with double standards towards me cause I am young and “gay”, and he accepts “us people”? Do I give my notice and look for a better job? Do I continue to be held back by “Grumpy” and “Hysteric” while they keep telling him behind my back that I am a bad worker, yet tell me nothing is wrong? You see, it would be a simple decision, but here’s what makes it hard: being who he is in the legal community, he could extremely help or hinder my future in this field
So, do I put up with it, or get out?? HELLLP!
Thanks for your advice,
Legal Limbo
SCOTT: What a nightmare job! You don’t need to be kept around just because Gramps has a soft spot for gays. That worst part is that he either isn’t aware or doesn’t care about the humiliating comments he’s made in front of your colleagues. Add to that all of the other negative forces and your career at ABC Law Firm seems dismal at best.
Sometimes life nudges you in the right direction and sometimes I do. FIRST find another job and then give notice and leave. Just because your boss is ignorant doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. Be professional and confident, don’t display bitterness and get yourself out of there!